It is indeed true what they say about good begetting good...
Once you start noticing good things around you, you become visibly happier, more positive about life.
This week, on a whim, I sent a colleague a short message telling her how much I had enjoyed reading a feature she had written. I wasn’t familiar with the subject she had written about, but the way she wrote about it made it so interesting. I was captivated. Her reply to my simple message took me aback because it was so joyous, far more than the simple “Thank you” I had expected.
Thinking about it, however, I shouldn’t have been so surprised by her enthusiastic reply. It occurred to me that in a society encumbered by so much disgruntlement, anxiety, hardship and uncertainty, a majority of people may be blind to any good happening around them.
Nowadays, it seems as if there is only bad news everywhere: you tune in to the news and the first story is either about corruption, murder, or a family searching for their loved one who went missing, not to forget maandamanos (demonstrations) that always end in tragedy.
Rarely is there an uplifting story. Even social media seems to favour depressing stories. With this in mind, a message of praise in the midst of all this unpleasantness, or someone who notices something good you have done and voices it, will therefore catch you off guard.
I have never had difficulty offering others praise when I notice something they have done well; it comes naturally to me, and it is a quality that I am thankful for because it means that I am less prone to jealousy, which is a heavy burden to haul around. However, for a long time, I struggled with praising myself, in finding something about myself worth praising. It is said that we, especially us women, are our own worst critics.
This was true about me for quite a while. I tended to judge myself harshly and felt that I couldn’t afford to stop long enough to appreciate my accomplishments. Once upon a time, it was a constant rat race for me. Jumping onto the next thing right after finishing another. It is only now that I am learning to stop and appreciate what I have managed to achieve. To show myself gratitude.
Talking of gratitude, I am also learning the magic that accompanies being grateful, especially for the things we are used to taking for granted. Life, health, a job, good friendship, food. Once you start noticing these good things around you, you become visibly happier, more positive about life, and the despondency around you begins to lift.
Earlier this year, I came across an ‘unboxing’ video a young friend had made showing the gifts she had received for her birthday. For you old-timers, unboxing refers to an internet trend of unwrapping a new product from its packaging and showing it on camera. When we met later, I jokingly asked her whether she was sure she hadn’t sent herself the many presents she kept unboxing. I’ve known her for some time, and I had noticed that she received lots of gifts.
“Caro,” she said, “The secret to receiving gifts is gifting…”
She went on to explain that she deliberately buys gifts for people that she values on special occasions such as birthdays or graduations, a gesture that almost always means that these people get her a present when her birthday comes round, or when they come across something they think she would like. It is indeed true what they say about good begetting good.
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