Most successful couples manage every aspect of their money jointly
Money causes endless problems in relationships. Couples disagree about purchases, investments and loans, who’s making the decisions and different money styles like scrimp and save versus big impulse spender.
Many spouses use money as a way of controlling one another, and yet other couples have no problems with money at all. So how can you be one of them?
Be completely open and honest about your finances. Income, spending, loans, investments and so on. And review all the bank statements, payslips and loan agreements.
Ideally, begin all that before you marry, though it’s never too late to start. Initially, dating couples need only talk ball-park figures about their income, businesses, investments, loans and future plans, such as for further study and working abroad. But as you approach marriage, you should also start to talk about how you’ll manage your household expenses together, and your savings and investments. This is also the best time to get out all the paperwork, and to start being completely open about the details.
Private accounts
The most successful couples manage every aspect of their money jointly, as if they were the directors of a small company, but whoever has the greater aptitude and skills can take on the ‘accountant’ role, filing the receipts and so on, unless you like doing that together. But above all, the sooner you start thinking of money as ‘ours’ rather than ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ the better.
Every couple is different, but one good approach is to have three bank accounts. A private account each, and a joint account for managing all your household expenditure and investments. All your income goes into the joint account, and an agreed small amount is automatically transferred into each of the private accounts for personal spending. His beer, her hair.
Household bills
Everything else, the household bills, savings, investment, support for your extended families, goes through the joint account. No more ‘he pays the rent and I pay for the food’, which inevitably comes unstuck sooner or later.
Doing everything through the joint account makes for transparency and prevents secret investments and inappropriate spending. Like on an illicit second family!
Supporting extended family can also create huge problems. The key is reducing expectations by keeping your lifestyle simple, and effective budgeting. It helps to privately agree what you can commit to family support and then stick to that figure. And to be tough.
That includes persuading the whole family to plan and contribute, each according to their means, otherwise you might get regarded as a bottomless pit of easy money, while others shirk their responsibilities.
It sounds a bit old-fashioned now, but couples who prioritise the man’s career over the woman’s, and give her more say in the home, are generally more successful than the other way round! Though there are plenty of very successful couples where she’s the higher earner, but the moment she starts becoming controlling about the money, then things go pear-shaped very quickly.
