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Politics aside, women and men are different

couple

Men and women are certainly equal, or they should be. But they’re far from identical.

Photo credit: Samuel Muigai | Nation Media Group

Deep down, we all know that men and women are different, in many ways, though nowadays we’re unwilling to admit that because it has become politically incorrect. Men and women are certainly equal, or they should be. But they’re far from identical!

Their differences have been extensively researched, though mostly, they’re so obvious we laugh about them. Think how women moan about men’s unwillingness to talk about relationships. While men whinge that women are too sensitive and talk too much.

So, all those pundits’ attempts to persuade us we’re all identical have just made lots of couples unhappy. But the good news is that if you understand the differences, then your relationships will be deeper and more secure.

Let’s take some examples from the way we see the world.

Imagine you’re in a bar and your wife whispers to you ‘Look at that guy over their…’ without even moving her eyes. You swivel your head to look and she’s instantly annoyed ‘Do you have to be so obvious!!!!’

And have you noticed that men find driving at night less stressful than women? These examples are clues to some real differences between the way men and women’s eyes work, like how women always spot a man’s eye straying towards another girl, even when they don’t seem to be looking in the right direction. And they never stop!

Even when they seem to be doing something else, women are constantly scanning the people around them. While men turn off when they’re resting. That’s because men’s brains are geared towards bursts of intense focus, followed by total relaxation.

Even the way men and women process information from their eyes is different, resulting from the way their different testosterone levels affect the development of the visual cortex. Women can scan a much wider arc around them, without moving their heads, and can discriminate colours better than men. Wide-angle vision, good colour perception and sensitivity to social cues probably evolved to help groups of hunter-gatherer women look after children and find fruit. While men’s visual characteristics probably evolved to detect prey at long distances.

So men focus on the area directly in front of them and are especially good at discriminating fine details and following fast movements at a distance. But they’re far less aware of things happening to their side. So it’s no wonder your wife hisses at you when you swivel your head. She can’t understand why you need to move!

But driving at night, the tables are turned. Now men’s narrower visual field and focus on detail and fast movement give them greater discrimination at long range, which is critical at night. While women find it much harder to identify and separate oncoming vehicles. And so they find driving at night more difficult.

So your husband should always offer to take the wheel at night! And wives should cut their husbands some slack when they turn their heads in the bar. They can’t help it!