Most couples enjoy having a familiar routine, but others worry that means they’re slipping into a rut, the excitement they felt at the beginning of their relationship gone.
Many stay fresh and passionate their whole lives, but most go through a bad patch as their responsibilities and pressures grow. Gradually, they start to neglect each other, their emotional intimacy falls as they spend less time talking together, their physical intimacy drops, and they start to feel bored.
Maybe that’s you? Perhaps you’ve noticed that bedtime’s no longer the most exciting moment in the day? You hardly ever talk about anything other than the children, and whose turn it is to take the trash out.
You spend more time at work or with your friends than you do with each other. You no longer remember anniversaries, you’ve forgotten what size clothes your partner wears, and what their favourite foods are.
That’s understandable, given the distractions of your work and social life, your wider family, and especially looking after the kids. You work late, attend endless family functions, and the children’s routine has become more important than your time together. You’re perpetually tired, rarely talk together alone, and have started to drift apart.
Make your relationship your first priority again, and start organising things so you have time for each other every day. Send the kids to bed on time, switch your phones off and talk to each other about what’s going on in your lives. Be affectionate again and remind yourselves of all those wonderful things you did when you first met. Start talking again about what turns you on - and schedule some time for sex! ‘Spontaneous sex’ might sound better, but it never happens when you’re busy. So put it in your diary!
Because with the right partner and the right attitudes, a marriage can stay exciting for a lifetime! Familiarity’s actually rather nice, if you think about it, but it mustn’t ever become passionless. Keep things exciting by imagining what you want between the sheets, have a shared bedtime, and kiss and cuddle every single night. And never lose your sense of wonder at being naked together.
Because few people realise just how important sex is to a happy relationship, so they fail to make enough time for intimacy. The best couples make love 24/7! Even in public you can see that little spark going between them. And they constantly discuss what each wants in bed. And that’s forever changing, so they’re always reinventing themselves sexually.
So always be interested in each other. Keep really fit. Pay each other lots of genuine attention. Tease and touch each other constantly, never say no, and never play sexual power games.
Discuss your sexual fantasies, and find something a little bit naughty that you both like. Because satisfying each other’s kinks holds a couple together like glue!
