Most of us meet the love of our lives pretty much by chance. Which sounds like finding true love is virtually impossible. But you can always give chance a helping hand, by hanging out with the right crowd. For example, the people you meet through mutual friends.
Few of us use our friends as a dating strategy, but it’s a great idea. Because you already like your mates, so you’ll probably get on with their friends.
But there’s a catch. The people who find it hardest to get a date tend to have the fewest friends. So if you never seem to meet anyone promising, count up your friends. Aim for around a dozen, of which two or three are really close. Because the more friends you have, the more likely it is they’ll introduce you to someone great.
Try to widen your circle of acquaintances, and to get closer to the friends you know least. Because they’re more likely to introduce you to someone from outside your usual social sphere.
Your friends won’t only introduce you to interesting new dates. They’ll improve your dating prospects in lots of other ways. Like just knowing that other people like you is a big boost to your self-confidence. And mixing with good friends builds your social skills. Friends learn how to disclose their feelings, be unselfconscious, learn not to betray confidences and to support each other in public.
Friends also understand interdependence, and both offer and ask for help. Which is another key to successful relationships, and why fiercely independent people tend to have more marital problems than most.
You can also improve your chances by consciously interacting with all the strangers you meet. Because dating’s ultimately a numbers game, and you do actually rub shoulders with lots of people. So if you don’t talk to them, you’re missing a whole lot of opportunities.
Which means you should talk briefly with everyone you meet. Especially those you meet through the world of work. Because they’ll be like you, and their job already tells you a whole lot about them. How successful, hardworking and ambitious they are, for example.
And with a little practice, it’s fun. Just show genuine interest in everyone you meet, and ask about their work, background, availability, their leisure interests, and so on. Everyone loves talking about themselves, so the conversation will go well.
Only a handful will pass your ‘interview’, because you should only go further with someone who exactly matches your needs and values. And the rest won’t even have realised what you were up to!
Have a short coffee date or two with the survivors. Lose interest in anyone who shows the slightest signs of insecurity, weird personality traits, heavy drinking, infidelity, financial problems, anger, previous poor relationships or a tricky family background.
That way you’ll avoid starting relationships that will lead nowhere. After which you can safely fall in love with any of the others!
