Every man needs a man cave to stay sane

Purchased in Chicago's Gold Coast District in 1959, the 70-room, the 30,000-square-foot mansion at 1340 North State Parkway stands as many things. It may popularly be known as the original Playboy Mansion but also a testament to what was perhaps Hugh Hefner's greatest contribution to mankind apart from the delicious debauchery that was his brand, his contribution to architecture. Beyond its cheeky welcome note at the front door, that read, 'If you don't swing, you don't ring,' lay a magnificent architectural delight which spoke volumes of opulence and grandeur but also of a changing landscape. 

Hefner's Playboy magazine ran its first feature on the perfect gentleman's home in its September 1956 issue, which was one of the first mainstream redefinitions of social norms around houses. Men weren't, at the time, supposed to have any opinions about homes, let alone publish their opinions. Don't get me wrong, men-owned the houses on paper but houses were considered women's domain. It was at best a place where men could lay down their heads after a long day's work but their opinion was to be limited to inquiring about costs.

In 1962, the magazine published a delightful pictorial spread, "Posh Plans for Exciting Urban Living!" which was later dubbed the Playboy Town House and it suddenly gained attention. Described as a "modishly swinging manor" for an "unattached, affluent young man, happily wedded to the infinite advantages of Urbia," the house had a lot of elements that would later become mainstream including an open plan design. It had a rotating bed, a swanky indoor pool, remote-controlled skylight, electronically controlled sound, lighting, and everything that unlimited money coupled with taste could give you.

Hefner walked so we could run as men but it seems that we went right back to crawling under the strong hand of the oppressive society which believes that a real man lives under a rock and most times all he needs is sunlight, water, and air. 

The first time I heard of a bachelor pad was probably in some long-forgotten magazine where all the dreams, even the ones I didn't know I had, came true. Then came real life. A place where men aren't allowed and don't allow themselves to have good things especially in their houses.

I strongly hold that you don't have to live like you're two paycheques away from starting a GoFundMe in a house that you pay rent for. The reality, however, is that unless most men get a live-in-girlfriend or wife who starts by almost being a home renovator, they are vagrants in their own homes. 

They have carpets that were last used by Aladdin as sitting room furniture, creaky beds which were probably used to carry the injured in the Great Crusades, and cups that look like they were used in the last supper. If you have couches, they're one accident away from looking like upcycled car seats while the curtains are held together by the prayers of our grandmothers and their forefathers. Many men are living on a 'Shetani ashindwe' meets 'demure affliction' aesthetic. 

We live in a strange society, where your home as a man is treated as transient. You're passing through almost like a stranger. You're expected by many women you date to have a house but not to be too put together because what will 'her role be.' She'll need to feel useful in many ways including being the one to 'put you together. You're told that if you're too put together you'll scare away women who might think you're gay and that's why men who want to rev it up with their decor fiestas, are relegated to a life of living like you're in the boot of a Peugeot.

Investing in your house is one way of investing in yourself. Suddenly you can invite friends without having to have caveats like asking them to carry plastic chairs and plastic plates and a table if they can. You also attract a different kind of woman who isn't intimidated by mere furnishings and décor. A woman who has more to bring to your life than suggesting that a face towel would change your life.

Your home is your castle. Treat it accordingly.

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