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Help! I can’t stop thinking about cheating on my loving husband...
What you need to know:
- If you're secretly falling in love with someone else avoid him at all cost even if it means changing your daily routine.
- Resist that thought. Distract yourself by rekindling the love you have for your husband.
- If you have underlying or unresolved domestic problems, have an honest conversation with your partner and resolve them amicably.
This sounds bad, but I’m thinking of cheating on my husband. Why are thoughts like that going through my mind? What should I do about them?
According to the Good Book, thinking about cheating or committing adultery is a major sin. So, if you are a Christian, seek repentance first. Secondly, you need to search your soul and find out why you have the urge to cheat on your husband. Is it that you are just promiscuous? Is your chemistry dead? Thirdly, speak to him and be open on everything. It might be a burning issue, however, dealing with the elephant in the room could be the only thing that will save your marriage. Lastly seek professional advice from marriage experts and psychologists. If you start cheating, there's no going back and it will be very detrimental to your marriage.
Daniel Kariuki, Sociologist
As you said, it sounds bad. Such thoughts can be as a result of lust and dissatisfaction. Do all you can to suppress those feelings by concentrating on your husband. If there are any differences between you, resolve them. They will ruin your marriage and love life forever.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor in Mitume PAG Church, Kitale
You have not mentioned why you're thinking of cheating on your husband, because there is no way you can just develop such thoughts. Find the reason and it will be easy for you to overcome the bad thoughts. You would rather find a solution, even if it's through counseling, before you cheat because it might ruin your marriage.
Juma Felix
Love is easily lost, for example through infidelity, but more often it fades away quietly through a host of small everyday mistakes that chip in a marriage or relationship. You just can't have the thoughts of cheating on your husband from the blues. There's something you're not telling us. Maybe he's not adhering to your conjugal rights, unresolved domestic issues or you are falling in love with some other guy. If you're secretly falling in love with someone else avoid him at all cost even if it means changing your daily routine. Resist that thought. Distract yourself by rekindling the love you have for your husband. If you have underlying or unresolved domestic problems, have an honest conversation with your partner and resolve them amicably.
D Mutunga, from the school of life
FROM THE EXPERT
It is human to have thoughts regardless of whether those thoughts are acceptable or not. There is always a reason for thoughts. Why you are having those thoughts should be your first question. What has occurred in your marriage to warrant your current predicament? Has the issue been addressed by both you and him? Have you done all you can before embarking on this journey of exploring with another? It is pretty common for one person to get bored with the daily predictability of any relationship. Unless you have tried with no change in sight, I would urge you to address whatever is causing you to want to cheat. Share your truth with him to establish whether your issue can be resolved. The thrill of greener pastures is extremely tempting, but those pastures may not be worth the effort. The choice lies with you but it would be practical to engage your husband to hear his side of the story.
Maurice Matheka is a relationships expert
NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA
I’ve recently started wondering whether I’m pleasing my husband in bed, and I’m too scared to ask him. I can’t bring myself to have that conversation with him since I am not sure of his answer but the uncertainty is killing me. What do I need to do to be great for him?
