What would you do if your spouse broke loose and went naked in a public place, all for fun? This is the question that lingered in my mind as Grace told her story. The couple was in my office due to a serious conflict that was threatening their new marriage. It was a week after Easter holidays last year.
The couple, Grace and Japheth, went for a holiday in North Coast. They were only six months into their marriage then, with no child. They locked their apartment and flew away.
“All was well until the second night, the Easter Saturday,” Grace explained. “We went for a dance, a real vigorous dance in the heat of Mombasa.”
Organisers of the dance were aware of the discomfort of the heat and there was a section of the dance floor with a rain-like shower pouring from the roof. People frequently retreated to the shower area to cool their bodies.
“I did the shower thing severally with my clothes on and at some point, felt the cloth irritating my skin; I pulled the dress off and threw it at Japheth,” Grace said. And that was the end of the party. Japheth could not stand seeing Grace in her panties in public.
“And I was not the only one in that state, so I did not understand the rage,” Grace lamented.
“How could you do that?” Japheth interjected. “Why would you want to expose your body to the whole world? What picture were you trying to portray to the men in that place?”
Nudity, the act of going naked and especially in front of strangers, is a highly contested issue. Of course, at the coast, especially on the beach and in swimming pools, people display their bodies.
“True, but at the same time, there are men who just stay there gazing at the naked bodies,” Japheth said. “They are busy salivating at the women, and some women enjoy that.”
“Is it that you are jealous of those men? I do not understand,” Grace replied.
Well, there are two opposing schools of thought on nudity. For some, it is a good thing, and for others, it is unacceptable. Culture as well as beliefs around women’s rights to bodily autonomy sway the direction one takes on this matter.
Of course, we cannot be blind to the reality of people, especially men, who get pleasure from watching scantily dressed or naked women. For them, the woman’s naked body is akin to a sex toy. They reduce the woman to nothing more than an object of sexual pleasure, and they get that by staring at her body.
“It is for that reason that there are strip clubs,” Japheth said.
Such men have an idealised sexual body and they go crazy sitting and watching such bodies at the pool, beach, or strip club. Many women are conscious of this and, based on their personal values, can decide on how to dress with this in mind.
Holiday Makers at the Nyali Public Beach in Mombasa
In some countries (not Kenya), there are beaches and other designated public places where people can strip and stay naked. Such countries have laws that protect those who want to stay naked as long as they do it in the designated places.
“Really? Why would a country allow people to be naked in public?” Japheth asked, staring into space.
The reason for supporting nudity in those countries is that nudity is known to have therapeutic effects. Studies have shown that staying naked does help people connect with nature, relieve their anxieties, and accept their bodies. This healing effect improves their mental health.
“This is madness,” Japheth retorted. “So you are trying to say that it was fine for Grace to be naked in public?”
“You are overreacting,” Grace said. “Allow the doctor to explain his point.”
Beyond the science, we know that there is morality. There are as many morals as there are people in the world. Everyone has their values around nudity, and that is fine. It is for this reason that some will go nude while others don’t, reasons notwithstanding.
“Yes, at the coast they do that to attract men. Many sex workers are doing that,” Japheth said.
“Some people dress scantily due to the weather too,” Grace replied. “There are others who feel confident and want to express themselves by dressing in a certain way, as long as they do it legally, this should be respected.”
Sometimes people go nude to please and be close to their partners, not just in the bedroom but also in the swimming pool, at the beach, in the forest, and in other public places.
Given the controversies around nudity, it is important to always discuss and agree as a couple on what is acceptable and what is not for you. This includes what you wear daily. Agreeing together helps prevent unnecessary conflict.
