I am 39, married with two children. I did not proceed beyond high school. In fact, I got married before I received my results. I scored a B Plain. Since I got married, I have been financially dependent on my husband, who is a civil servant. He earns decent money and has been able to take care of us. Although we live in a rental house, we have never been locked out because of rent. Our children have never missed school because of fees. But there's a problem. He doesn’t want me to work and prefers that I ask him for money whenever I have financial needs.
He currently gives me Sh10,000 pocket money every month. He says it's his pride to provide for me, but I have come to resent this. I feel like I am nobody beyond being his wife and mother to his children. I am tired of nipe nipe nipe kila wakati
I desire to go to college and pursue a diploma in nursing or clinical officer. The budget for this could range between Sh500,000 and Sh700,000, including private accommodations and meals. So far, I have saved Sh90,000 in the bank, and I am expecting Sh30,000 from the merry-go-round chama in December. I want to target a January / February enrolment. I am determined to pursue this even at the cost of my marriage. Please advise.
Chacha Nyaigoti Bichang’a, a financial coach at Chachanomics Consulting Firm and the author of Mastering Your Money.
You definitely have a bright future at 39 with two children and a responsible husband who provides for everything. With your B plain in KCSE, your ambition to pursue college education is worthwhile because ideally you should have not only earned a college diploma but a degree.
You still have an opportunity to return to school, build a career and achieve financial independence. Despite having a dependable and supportive husband, you are torn between financial provision and personal fulfilment. Here are five strategies that you can adopt:
Your estimated college education ranges between Sh500,000 and Sh700,000. Your husband gives you Sh10,000 for monthly upkeep over and above the family expenses. This implies that you can easily save the amount and rely on savings from domestic expenses for your wants. You need to establish a strong financial buffer from which you can withdraw to fund your college education. The amount you have saved is enough to gain admission and pay for at least one semester.
You need to carry out a feasibility study by making inquiries from two to three colleges. Once you do a fees reality check, you will find out that public colleges like KMTC are cheaper than private ones. The actual fees range between Sh80,000 to Sh120,000 tuition fees per year, not Sh500,000 to Sh700,000 at once. Private colleges can cost Sh200,000 per year. Find out from the sampled colleges by asking them these three questions: Can I pay in instalments per semester? Do you have a hostel, or must I rent outside? What is the total fee for one year? Ask them to send you the fees structure. Verify the institution's recognition by relevant professional regulators. Explore possible funding options via government scholarships and bursaries besides relying on your own savings.
Your Sh90,000 is your principal safety net. Once you channel your bank savings and merry-go-round towards college education, you will be unable to handle any unforeseen emergencies such as medical emergency, unexpected accommodation or interruption in household support should your husband opt out due to any disagreement. You can break down your total savings as follows: Sh80,000 for education reserve, Sh30,000 for emergency reserve and Sh10,000 for application and preparation for college.
Your current Sh10,000 monthly allowance provides a possible starting point. Explore less capital-intensive side hustles like tutoring, online administrative jobs, selling products on commission, second-hand clothes or shoes for women and small home-based businesses. Choose a passion business that aligns with your skills, interests and talents without interfering with your future clinical training.
Make a plan for ring-fencing your marriage without sacrificing your ambitions for college education. Do not let your determination to escape financial dependence push you into another form of financial vulnerability and marital strife leading to separation. Distinguish between being willing to leave your marriage if necessary and making leaving your immediate financial plan. If your husband's financial and moral support stopped all of a sudden, then your monthly stipend will disappear quickly, and you will become financially vulnerable. Have a candid conversation with your husband about the need for education and the desire to become professionally qualified and financially independent.
