Jane, 52, has recently been struggling with sleepless nights and unsettling changes in her body and mood—experiences that, in some ways, echo her adolescence. Her monthly periods stopped six months ago, and doctors confirmed she is in menopause. At the time, she did not think that her sex life would also take a downturn.
“I look at myself in the mirror and I cry!” she wept when she visited the Sexology Clinic. “The wrinkles on my face, the flabby muscles on my arm, even my pubic hair looks weird.”
She heard there was a hormone treatment that, if she took, would slow down these distressing signs of aging and even revive her sexual vitality, so she walked into the clinic with high expectations. “Please tell me that all these body changes can be reversed, or at least that the progression can be halted! It is difficult for me and is affecting all aspects of my life,” she pleaded.
It is unfortunate, just like in adolescence, that no one prepares women for this stage of life. For most women, it is a big surprise when the body starts to change and what is conventionally described as sexy starts to elude them. They may get psychological distress and lose their self-esteem, and this makes their overall quality of life drop. If you are in your late 30s or in your 40s, you need to start preparing for this unavoidable eventuality.
Studies have shown that women feel sexual if they are confident in their appearance. Yet this confidence wanes with the onset of menopause. Most will therefore feel ugly, hate their bodies and feel less sexual.
The genesis of the problem is that hormonal changes that lead to menopause affect physical appearance. The turgidity of the skin goes and loose skin leads to wrinkles. Muscles get flabby and bones get brittle. Psychologically, you start to imagine that your appearance is like that of an old woman, and this can be depressing. Menopausal changes become pronounced on the sexual organs. The pubic hair gets thin and soon turns white. The external folds of the vagina (also called labia) become thin. Even the clitoris shrinks. The vagina becomes shorter and narrower and does not stretch easily. During sex, it takes much longer to get wet. Sometimes lubrication does not happen. With poor or no lubrication and a shorter and narrower vagina with reduced elasticity, sex may become painful. This is in addition to the fact that there is reduced desire for sex. “Well captured, that is exactly what I am going through,” Jane interjected.
Pre-menopausal sexological care ensures that women are better prepared to handle these unavoidable life changes and that they continue to enjoy their sexuality and self-esteem in menopause. At the very least, women in their late 30s and in their 40s can slow down the progression of these symptoms through strict dietary measures. A good diet and adequate uptake of water maintain a turgid and healthy skin and muscle appearance. The sexologist works hand in hand with a dietician to prescribe personalised diets in each case.
Dieting goes hand in hand with exercise. There are 60 year olds who look like they are in their 30s because they are following a well-prescribed exercise programme. The muscle tone remains good and chronic diseases, which compound the aging process, such as diabetes and high blood pressure, are kept at bay.
Some women add plastic surgery to the menu of menopausal care. Although this is controversial in social cycles, it is a woman’s choice. And if it improves their quality of life, so be it. Hormone treatments also slow the aging process and make it smoother. Remember, other than the changes in physical appearance, menopause can come with serious feelings of hot flashes and general feeling of ill health and fragile moods. Hormone treatment helps women navigate these difficulties.
Self-care, relaxation and adding a bit of fun to your life are highly recommended in uplifting one’s spirits, restoring self-esteem and bringing the feelings of wellbeing that menopause threatens to take away. It pays to allocate time for a relaxing bath and application of make-up. Pedicure, manicure and massage add much value. And never give up on fashion and style. If you enjoy dancing, create time for it; some women enjoy a walk in the beach, or occasional bonding with nature through nature walks. Do it.
