‘I discovered I was HIV positive after my baby fell ill’
A woman and her child.
Seven years ago, when Queen Tausi (not her real name) gave birth to her baby girl, she was overwhelmed with the joy of becoming a mother. After a smooth vaginal delivery, she was moved from the labour room to the ward, where her baby was placed in her arms. That first moment of mother-daughter bliss, however, was short-lived.
“I suddenly felt something hot all over my body. When I turned around, I was bleeding. My whole bed was soaked,” she recalls. “I couldn’t walk, so I screamed. The doctors rushed in, took my baby away, and started attending to me.”
The bleeding went on for a while, and Queen could feel her panic giving way to fatigue. She cried as she watched her skin go pale, all the while wondering what had gone wrong. After what seemed like eternity, the doctors told her that she needed a blood transfusion.
“After the blood transfusion, I was led to another room where I was informed that they needed to test me for HIV. I was confused and hesitant, but they insisted I needed to get the test done. So I agreed.”
The results were confusing: four tests using different kits produced two positive and two negative results.
“I cried when I saw the two positive tests. Again, no one was giving me clear information. When they brought my baby later on and advised me to breastfeed exclusively for six months, I believed all was well.”
Queen was discharged and returned home with her aunt, who had been her guardian after she lost both her parents. For three months, Queen’s baby cried incessantly. Out of desperation, she decided to introduce the baby to porridge and cow’s milk at three months old because she thought her milk supply wasn’t enough, which is why the baby was crying so much.
“Doctors had told me to exclusively breastfeed, but as a mother, it pained me to see her crying. I thought she was hungry,” she says. Within two weeks, the baby developed a mouth rash. Queen herself had cracked, painful nipples.
Soon after, the baby reacted badly to the new foods, and after weeks of alternating between porridge, cow’s milk and breastfeeding, she fell gravely ill. Queen took the baby to a local dispensary but they were referred to a bigger hospital. On arrival, the baby was rushed to the ICU and placed on oxygen.
“She tested positive for typhoid, malaria, meningitis and anaemia. She cried nonstop, and I cried with her. I prayed for her not to die.”
The next morning, doctors informed Queen that she had to be tested for HIV, as this would help treat her child. Five minutes later, they shared conclusive results.
“They told me I was HIV positive. I was put on medication that same day.”
For four months, Queen’s baby stayed in the hospital fighting for her life. She was not responding well to treatment, and her condition deteriorated. At some point during this period, Queen lost hope and stopped taking her HIV medication. She became so sick that she had to be admitted too, in a different ward.
“Then one day, my grandmother told my aunt (who was with us) that since the baby was barely alive, we should go home because transporting a dead body is more expensive than transporting a sick person. At this point, I was helpless, so we did as my grandmother advised and asked to be discharged.”
So Queen and her daughter left the hospital, not to seek better treatment, but to go upcountry in Kisumu and wait for the baby to die.
“We travelled home in bad shape, ready to bury her. When we arrived, I just waited for her to die. I kept asking her when she was going to die because I couldn’t take it anymore.”
After a week or two, Queen realised that the baby wasn’t giving up the fight. She was still very sick, but every morning she woke up and stayed alive even as her mother shed tears from dawn to dusk.
One morning, Queen woke up with a burst of energy and resolve. She prepared her baby, and off they went to the hospital where she used to her drugs.
Here, Queen’s daughter was finally tested for HIV—months after her own diagnosis—and was also found positive. The baby was immediately put on treatment and placed on a strict nutritional plan with regular nutritionist check-ins.
“I felt God had given my baby another chance. I set alarms to give her medicine on time. For the first time since she was born, we spent a whole year without her being admitted to the hospital,” Queen says.
But in 2021, the cycle of hospital visits began again. A past meningitis infection paralysed her right side and affected her hearing.
“Since I’m jobless, I haven’t managed to take her for a hearing test. I don’t know if she is Deaf or just needs treatment. A special school refused to admit her because I don’t have medical reports to show she can’t hear.” Queen’s daughter will be turning eight years old next year, and she has never stepped into a classroom. The hearing test costs about Sh15,000 but Queen has been unable to raise the money due to all the challenges she has faced. She now lives with her grandmother in Kisumu.
A different world
At 31, Veronica Mbone (not her real name) is also raising a child living with HIV. She learned her son’s status when he was eight months old, after he suffered repeated illnesses from the age of three months.
“I thought it was malaria because his eyes and mouth changed colour. He also struggled to breastfeed. When we went to the hospital, he was admitted and tested. His blood sample turned out HIV positive.”
When doctors recommended she be tested too, she hesitated. Her antenatal card showed she had tested negative throughout her pregnancy. But when she finally agreed, her result was also positive.
“Being HIV positive is like going into a new world. It was not easy to accept. I stopped eating, I cried, I was confused. I didn’t know what to do with my son. My first two children are negative, so I kept wondering how I got infected.”
Doctors encouraged her to call her husband for testing, and after counselling, he too tested positive.
“Our marriage was thrown into chaos, and I left my husband. After the baby was discharged, I went to my parents’ home and stayed for three months. We were not talking as a couple.”
Veronica kept her diagnosis secret from her parents and took her medication in hiding. Eventually, her husband visited their home and, after a candid conversation with her parents, she agreed to return home.
Their son, now four, is a healthy and vibrant boy and joined baby class this year.
“In 2021, he was always sick and losing weight. But today he is doing well. I give him his medicine at 9 p.m. every day.”
He thought I infected him
After giving birth 13 years ago, Milka Juma (not her real name), had no idea she was HIV positive until her baby repeatedly fell ill. At six months, the baby became critically sick and was admitted to the hospital for six months.
“That is where the doctors tested us and found we were both positive.”
Her husband also tested positive and threw fits of anger, accusing Milka of infecting him with the virus.
“He was in so much pain. After that, our marriage was full of conflict. He used to beat me every day until we separated.”
Raising HIV positive children
Jacque Wambui, regional sub-coordinator for AFROCAB Treatment Access Partnership and an HIV advocate, has lived with the virus for 21 years.
“After being diagnosed with HIV, it is hard to return to the community and live like nothing happened,” she says. “Many babies become malnourished because their caregivers are overwhelmed and don’t know what to do.”
Fear, stigma and confusion often push mothers into skipping medication, and this puts their children’s health at risk.
“When mothers skip giving their babies drugs, they later come back with very sick children because their bodies have no defence.”
She emphasises the importance of peer groups for mothers raising HIV-positive children.
“In peer groups, mothers encourage each other. They build a support system. Isolation only leads to depression.”
She notes that caregivers must ensure proper nutrition, daily medication and hospital visits with the child.
“Unlike adults, children must be seen by doctors each time they collect drugs,” she says. “Community members can also help by supporting affected families, accompanying them to clinics, and helping them avoid stigma.”
She stresses that even caregivers offering support must take necessary precautions to remain HIV negative themselves.
Speaking at the Conference on Public Health in Africa that was held in South Africa last month, Global Fund board vice-chair, Bience Gawanas noted that women and girls remain disproportionately vulnerable to HIV, tuberculosis and malaria. She urged African governments to invest in services that directly support them.
“When girls stay in school, and women access sexual and reproductive health services, outcomes improve,” she said. “Investing in young women is investing in our continent’s future.”
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), about 1.4 million children under 14 were living with HIV by the end of 2023, and of these, 120,000 were newly infected. WHO warns that without early testing and treatment, half of all HIV-infected infants die by age two, and eight in ten do not reach their fifth birthday.
Early diagnosis and treatment, WHO notes, remain the strongest tools to reduce child deaths linked to HIV.
Follow our WhatsApp channel for breaking news updates and more stories like this.
