A widower's extraordinary journey of raising nine children, including a six-day-old infant
Joseph Kamau, a widower, with two out of his nine children, at their home in Munanda, Nakuru County. He lost his wife in January, 2023.
What you need to know:
- In January 2023, Joseph Kamau lost his wife Fidelis Wanjiru just six days after she gave birth to their ninth child.
- Despite scepticism from healthcare workers and financial struggles, Kamau mastered infant care while managing his other eight children's needs.
- Today, the peasant farmer advocates for support for widowers while raising his children alone, including his thriving toddler daughter Muthoni.
In the quiet village of Munanda, Subukia, Nakuru County, Joseph Kamau rises before dawn each day. By 4am, he's already preparing breakfast, helping his children get ready for school, and cradling his youngest daughter, Jane Muthoni. This has been his routine since January 2023, when joy turned to tragedy in just six days.
The story of Kamau's journey into single parenthood begins with celebration. On January 15, 2023, his wife Fidelis Wanjiru gave birth to their ninth child at Subukia Health Centre. The couple's happiness knew no bounds as they welcomed another daughter into their family of eight children. After two days, mother and child returned home to a small celebration with family and friends.
But fate had other plans.
Joseph overwhelmed by emotions during the interview at his home in Munanda, Nakuru County.
On January 21, Wanjiru began feeling unwell. Despite reassuring her worried family she would recover, her condition deteriorated rapidly. That evening, while Kamau was at work, their eldest daughter's frantic call changed everything. At Subukia Sub-County Hospital, doctors diagnosed Wanjiru with asthma and admitted her for monitoring.
Before Kamau left the hospital that evening, Wanjiru made an unusual request – she asked him to take six-day-old Muthoni home. Hours later, at 9pm, the hospital called: Wanjiru needed urgent transfer to Nakuru Teaching and Referral Hospital. She never made it.
"The doctors requested I wait for them along the highway so I could accompany my wife, but the ambulance passed before I could arrive," Kamau recalls, his voice heavy with emotion. "Another phone call came, directing me to Subukia Sub-county hospital. That's where I learned my wife was gone."
For Kamau, a peasant farmer, the challenge of raising nine children alone was just beginning. The most immediate concern was caring for new-born Muthoni. Each packet of Nan formula milk cost Sh1,800, ordered from either Nakuru or Nyahururu.
"I was clueless about raising an infant, but I told God to give me the wisdom and love of a mother," he says.
Joseph Kamau and his nine children during the burial ceremony of his wife in January, 2023. Since then, the single father has been taking care of her children through struggle as he has no job at his home in Munanda, Nakuru County. BONIFACE MWANGI/NATION
More challenges followed. At six months, Muthoni developed severe digestive issues requiring surgery at Nakuru Teaching and Referral Hospital. The Sh6,000 procedure stretched the family's resources thin, forcing Kamau to sell property and borrow from friends and neighbours. For three weeks, Muthoni stayed in hospital with her eldest sister – an arrangement Kamau had to negotiate with reluctant hospital management.
"Those were the toughest weeks of my life as a man," Kamau reflects.
"I spent all day at the hospital and returned home each night to look after the rest of the children. But I thank God I managed."
Today, at one year and nine months, Muthoni is thriving – a testament to her father's dedication and the guidance of a Community Health Volunteer who taught him proper infant care.
"There were times nurses doubted my ability to care for an infant," Kamau says. "Look at her now, grown and in good health. I have eight daughters and one son."
Joseph tends to his wife's grave at his home in Munanda, in Nakuru County.
Their story began in 2005 when Kamau met Wanjiru, then a Form Three student living nearby. A chance encounter – when his mother sent him to her home – blossomed into love, despite her parents' initial opposition. When Wanjiru threatened suicide over her parents' pressure to end the relationship, Kamau's parents intervened to formalise their union.
This wasn't Kamau's first marriage. His previous ten-year marriage ended after his first wife, who had medical issues, couldn't bear children. With her blessing, he found Wanjiru. Together, they built a life – she working at a cereal shop, he as a mason. Their bond strengthened through challenges, including their only son's two-month ICU stay in 2019 after suffering severe burns from hot tea.
"She was the light of my life," Kamau says tearfully.
"We were friends, partners, and never quarrelled. We could spend hours in the kitchen cooking dinner and catching up. She was a visionary woman, and we prospered together. I miss her every day."
Now, Kamau's days stretch from 4am to midnight. Between farm work, housework, and childcare, he barely manages. School fees remain a constant worry.
The widower displays a portrait of his late wife, Fidelis Wanjiru at his home. The wife died in January, 2023.
"It's hard when schools are open because I can't look for casual jobs," he explains.
Despite these challenges, Kamau refuses to remarry, fearing a stepmother might mistreat his children.
"I love my children too much to risk it," he says. His eldest daughter, who recently completed her KCSE exams, dreams of becoming a teacher. "She has the same strength and determination as her mother," he says proudly.
Kamau advocates for greater support for widowers, noting that while widows receive assistance, men in similar situations are often overlooked.
"People assume men can handle everything, but it's not true. Many widowers are overwhelmed and some end up committing suicide, leaving their children as orphans," he observes.
Looking ahead, Kamau dreams of building a better home for his children, beyond their current modest structure with its corrugated iron roof.
"I am determined to save enough money to improve my family's home," he says.
"One day, I want to build a better house for my children, one where they can feel proud and safe."
