Ejected from home: Widow's struggle with in-laws and HIV stigma
Mary Wanjiru, a 44-year-old widow from Mwanda in Mathira East, Nyeri County. She was evicted from her home by her in-laws.
What you need to know:
- Mary Wanjiru, a 44-year-old widow from Mwanda in Mathira East, Nyeri County, was diagnosed with HIV in 2014.
- Her husband, Moses Githinji, succumbed to Aids a year after they were diagnosed with the virus.
- The mother of three has contemplated suicide but was fortunate to undergo counselling.
It takes courage and determination to face the realities of discrimination and stigma when one is diagnosed with HIV-Aids and has to battle against the disease.
The situation can be worse and heartbreaking when close family members, who are supposed to be caregivers, are the ones perpetuating discrimination and stigma.
Mary Wanjiru, a 44-year-old widow from Mwanda in Mathira East, Nyeri County, was diagnosed with HIV in 2014. A year later, her husband, Moses Githinji, succumbed to Aids.
She says following her husband's death, her in-laws started treating her as an outcast owing to her status. She adds that they kicked her out of her matrimonial home by demolishing her house.
Status disclosed
Mary, a mother of three, says she was once shamed by her in-laws, whom she accuses of inviting villagers to her homestead and displaying her medication for them to see how the drugs looked like.
“It was in 2014 when I was diagnosed with HIV – a time when such a diagnosis was perceived as a death sentence. In 2015, my husband succumbed to Aids and I immediately became a pariah in my matrimonial home.
“I found myself on the streets of Karatina with nothing after being rejected by my late husband’s family, who, in 2021, threw me out of my house where I was living with my children” she says.
“They also threw away my medication.”
Mary says her problems started when she became pregnant with her last-born.
“I got married as a second wife in 2011. In 2014, my husband and I were informed that we were both HIV-positive. My husband had earlier told me he had another wife who had died in a road accident. He didn’t want me to socialise with neighbours, but after he died in April 2015, I learnt that the former wife had died of Aids and not in a road accident as my husband had claimed.
“After the disclosure, I went into deep depression because my husband’s immediate family became hostile to me. In 2021, they invaded and demolished my house. Since then, I have suffered a lot and struggled with ill health because of stress. I have rented a small house nearby. I have a son, whom I also assist to pay rent.
“I’m now in arrears. I’m an ordinary mama mboga. I can’t even maintain my kid who is in a local primary school. I’m appealing to anyone who can come to my rescue. I don’t know what to do,” she says.
Letter to tribunal
Several documents seen by Nation.Africa show Mary had even lodged a complaint with the HIV and Aids Tribunal against five in-laws for shaming her in public.
She says she once thought of committing suicide but got help and underwent counselling. She says she can no longer keep her status secret, hence her decision to go public.
“I felt like I had reached the end and thought of ending my life, but a doctor, who has been attending to me at Karatina Level Four Hospital, offered me counselling and gave me hope.
“My appeal to human right organisations: please, help me get justice. I’m helpless, just because my husband left me with HIV is no reason for me to be thrown out of my matrimonial home.
“I’m not able to face people because of the stigma. I feel so useless and I have now decided to leave everything to God,” she says.
