Forget the bar: Kenya's happiness expert reveals what really makes men joyful
Chief Happiness Officer, Happiness Society of Kenya, Kiraitu Murungi speaks during Man Cave 5, an annual men-only event held at Herencia Gardens, Kiambu County, on June 14, 2025. The event fosters connection, learning, and healing.
What you need to know:
- Former Meru Governor Kiraitu Murungi, Kenya's only certified happiness coach, says true happiness comes from human connection rather than material wealth like cars and big houses.
- After losing his gubernatorial seat in 2022, he spent a year studying happiness science online.
- He now advocates for men to focus on relationships, physical wellbeing, and being present in their social interactions.
Inside a neatly arranged dome tent at Herencia Gardens, off Thika Road, hundreds of men—both young and old—listen intently as former Meru Governor Kiraitu Murungi delivers an unexpected sermon: a masterclass on happiness.
The setting is this year's Mancave, an annual men-only gathering organised by Nation Media Group to empower, celebrate, and encourage men from diverse backgrounds across Kenya. It's a space where men share their challenges, triumphs, and personal stories about modern masculinity.
But today's conversation centres on something more fundamental: the pursuit of happiness.
Happiness revolution
Kiraitu, who holds the unique distinction of being Kenya's only certified happiness coach, challenges the assembled men to reconsider their understanding of what truly brings joy.
"Having big homes, cars, and lots of money only provides security—it doesn't guarantee happiness," he tells the captivated audience.
"It's the people you interact with who make your money work and ultimately, make you happy. The greatest source of happiness is human connection."
His message strikes at the heart of a common misconception: that material wealth equals contentment. The former Cabinet minister in President Mwai Kibaki's administration warns against the fleeting pleasures that many men pursue.
"You think that when you rush to the bar, you'll be happy, but the following morning, you're nursing a nasty hangover and feeling terribly unhappy," he observes. "Some people think certain activities will result in happiness, but they don't."
According to Kiraitu, true happiness requires a more deliberate approach. He advises men to cultivate curiosity, embrace adventure, and remain open to new experiences.
"Only you can make yourself happy. I'm not responsible for making you happy—I'm only responsible for my own happiness," he emphasises, placing the ownership of wellbeing squarely on individual shoulders.
His prescription for happiness is surprisingly holistic. Physical wellbeing forms the foundation: "Always ensure you take good care of yourself. Eat well, exercise regularly, sleep well, and get enough rest. Without yourself, everything about you amounts to zero."
But Kiraitu's advice extends beyond the physical. He champions intellectual stimulation through reading books, watching films, dancing, and even using mobile phones for entertainment.
"There's happiness all around you. All you need to do is take notice. There's much more fun in the country—just open your eyes."
Social universe of happiness
Perhaps most importantly, Kiraitu emphasises the social dimension of happiness. He encourages men to be fully present in their relationships, whether family or personal, and to actively build networks wherever they go—at work, church, clubs, and other regular haunts.
"Make friends in the places where you work and socialise. These connections will ultimately lead to happiness," he advises.
In a particularly candid moment, he even endorses the value of workplace chatter: "Gossip at times. Don't miss those small conversations in the office and workplace—they often make us happy. Ensure you have friends, as they're vital when you're down or celebrating in life."
Kiraitu's emphasis on happiness reflects a growing global trend.
"Many people across the world are taking happiness more seriously and going all out to ensure they're happy," he notes. "Some countries have ministers of happiness, and companies have happiness officers. For communities to make money, they must be happier."
His expertise comes from personal experience and formal training. In 2023, he completed a one-year degree course in happiness studies from the Happiness Studies Academy—a journey he embarked upon after losing the 2022 gubernatorial election to Kawira Mwangaza, following his five-year tenure as county head.
"I stumbled upon the course online and decided to study for it in the aftermath of my loss during the elections," he reveals. The former South Imenti MP says his training had equipped him to "spearhead the happiness revolution" in Kenya.
Participants during Man Cave 5, held at Herencia Gardens, Kiambu County, on June 14, 2025. Kenya's only certified happiness coach is among those who spoke at the event.
The conversation around men's happiness takes on particular significance given research suggesting a happiness gap between genders in Kenya. Studies indicate that women report slightly higher levels of happiness than men, particularly regarding family and spirituality.
A Synovate Kenya study found that more women (39 per cent) than men (30 per cent) identify family as their main source of happiness. Similarly, 29 per cent of women find happiness in spirituality, compared to 20 per cent of men. Men, conversely, tend to derive more happiness from their careers.
This disparity may be linked to unique pressures facing Kenyan men. A Daily Nation study highlighted that more men in Kenya suffer from mental health disorders, often stemming from stressful marriages, childhood trauma, absent fathers, and societal pressure to provide and perform.
Both genders, however, commonly turn to friends during unhappy periods, underscoring the importance of social support systems.
Building community
As Kiraitu concludes his address, he extends an invitation: join the Happiness Club of Kenya to "find happiness together."
The Mancave event itself targets men aged 24-65 who are tech-savvy, family-oriented, financially stable, health-conscious, and committed to making a positive impact within their circles of influence. These are men who believe they have something meaningful to contribute to fellow men for society's betterment.
In a world where discussions of mental health and wellbeing are increasingly coming to the fore, Kiraitu's message offers a practical roadmap: happiness isn't a destination to be reached through material acquisition, but a practice to be cultivated through human connection, self-care, and mindful engagement with the world around us.
For the men gathered in that dome tent, it's a reminder that the pursuit of happiness isn't just personal—it's revolutionary.
