Marriage is risky business: Why you should consider a prenup
A woman looks at her wedding ring. A prenup is binding and assists in the administration of custody battles and can legally determine the monthly amount each parent will contribute to the welfare of their children during marriage and in case of a divorce.
What you need to know:
- A prenup is binding and assists in the administration of custody battles and can legally determine the monthly amount each parent will contribute to the welfare of their children during marriage and in case of a divorce.
- A prenuptial agreement exemplifies the rights of each party upon death or divorce and serves the interest of both parties rather than the man only as is commonly perceived.
James J. Sexton is an American attorney who focuses on divorce filings, custody battles, child support disputes, alimony contentions and prenuptial agreements. He has handled over 1,200 divorces and three annulments at his law firm in New York City during his 25 years of practice.
In his book, If You're in My Office It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together, he states that marriage is an inherently dangerous activity. Fifty-six per cent of marriages end in divorce and 20 per cent of married couples who don’t get divorced, begrudgingly stay together to appease the children and fulfil societal expectations. Statistically, marriage is an institution that fails 76 per cent of the time and legally fits the definition of a neglected and shambolic establishment.
James defines marriage as a government concept, a business contract and a legal state agency that is intrinsically valuable to humanity’s communal existence. Most people’s sense of self is, however, alleviated by an unhappy marriage, which is centred on compromise and concession and causes them to lead their lives in a way that isn’t enjoyable and authentic to who they are.
Sadly, most people don’t understand the obligations that govern the institution of marriage and the legal specifications that regulate the initiation, continuation and validity of marriage rights. The first time most people are educated about the legality of marriage is during a distressing consultation in a divorce lawyer's office. A prenuptial agreement is, therefore, a vital opportunity to learn about the laws of marriage before delving into it and going into a union.
A prenuptial agreement (prenup) is a contract entered into by a couple before marriage. It exemplifies the rights of each party upon death or divorce and serves the interest of both parties rather than the man only as is commonly perceived. A prenup identifies how things are classified in advance and allows a couple to create a set of regulations while guiding them to function under those specific rules during their marriage.
A prenup can also consist of consequential clauses that protect women against domestic violence, emotional and verbal abuse, and can be crafted with specific penalties in the event of a contravention. Prenuptial agreements create tranches, structures and systems and a couple can live like a startup that requires a business plan, which comprises a financial plan, operational timeline, value proposition and marketing strategy. Prenups are an elaborate graphical description of basic needs, wants and expectations.
One of James's clients was Sana, a Sunni Muslim, a resident in America. Sana met her husband, Fazal, through an online matchmaking service for religious Sunni Muslims. During their virtual interaction, Fazal lived in Islamabad, Pakistan. The matchmaking service’s algorithm suggested that they were compatible. She was 36 and had never been married. She physically met with Fazal for the first time in New York City, and they wedded within 48 hours. Two weeks later, Fazal withdrew more than half the money from Sana's bank account and moved out, apparently never to be heard from again. Sana approached James to share her story and hire him to begin marriage annulment proceedings. If Sana had pursued legal redress before marrying Fazal, she would have been enlightened on how to craft a prenuptial agreement to her discretion to protect her premarital assets and prevent the destabalisation of her finances and mental health.
Prenups are not published or filed with the court, they are discreetly reserved for the eyes of the individuals who sign them and the confidentiality of their lawyers. A prenup clarifies expectations, protects assets of respective parties and easily facilitates the passage of assets to children and grandchildren. A prenup is binding and assists in the administration of custody battles and can legally determine the monthly amount each parent will contribute to the welfare of their children during marriage and in case of a divorce.
It eases the financial burden of the estranged wife by quickly solving detrimental disputes while guarding her from using her resources on legal fees to seek alimony and sustenance. A prenup also protects her rightful inheritance, from lurking in-laws, troublesome relatives and clandestine co-wives, in the event of the untimely demise of her spouse. The normalisation of prenups should be as imperative as the acquisition of a life insurance policy. Unfortunately, the discussions of prenups are deemed to defy convention and are considered taboo.
Failure to sign a prenup cedes authority to the respective state and the existing legislative laws that are often oppressive towards the provisions of women and are infused with petulant misogynistic legislative changes. In New York City, when there’s one child in a divorce settlement, the custodial parent, who is often the woman, receives child support equal to 17 per cent of the other parent’s gross income. If there are two children, the amount is 25 per cent. This often occurs after a financially and emotionally debilitating divorce battle, which is usually lengthy, antagonistic and often takes years to settle.
The court's decision might not be pertinent and comprehensively considerate of the children's health, education and extracurricular care. A prenup expresses financial and property matters in detail and its summation may include a specific clause that caters for specific medical and special needs of the children in the event the marriage ends. Unlike a disheartening divorce settlement, the existence of a prenup will ensure the transitional period is prompt, swift and enforceable.
The writer is a novelist, Big Brother Africa 2 Kenyan representative and founder of Jeff's Fitness Centre (@jeffbigbrother).
