Modesty has no place on gender equality agenda
Gender equity can't be achieved if women continue to be modest about their achievements. Some female PhD holders prefer not to use their titles for fear of sounding immodest.
What you need to know:
- The ‘modest woman’ expectation is almost always in relation to men, who are expected to act the opposite way and are celebrated for it, unlike women who are expected to be, well, modest.
- For the sake of those who've felt the lashes of gender injustice and to celebrate IWD 2022, let's abandon this notion that a good woman is a modest one.
For years, society has sold modesty as the hallmark of a well-behaved woman. And those women who stray from this norm have been branded unwomanly. Their behaviour branded unbecoming.
But as American historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich rightly said, ‘well-behaved’ women seldom make history. I salute all the ‘bad women’ today.
One of the topics that will preoccupy all who care about gender equality this month as we celebrate International Women's Day (IWD) today is how to achieve gender equality. But that can't be achieved if women continue to be modest about their achievements.
Misconception
What has bolstered this misconception about modesty equalling "Level 10 womanhood" is a culture that perpetuates the invisibility of women.
This is because the ‘modest woman’ expectation is almost always in relation to men, who are expected to act the opposite way. And are celebrated for it, unlike women who are expected to be, well, modest.
This invisibility of women, that's in my view, fuelled by modesty, is a global phenomenon.
In Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, the author, Caroline Criado Perez, argues that the silences on data about women "are everywhere. Our entire culture is riddled with them…the stories we tell ourselves about our past, present and future. They are all marked – disfigured - by a female-shaped 'absent presence'".
This 'female-shaped absent presence' is everywhere, even when the women themselves are present. In your lifetime, you have probably encountered a female PhD holder who will whisper, "don't use my title, please", when being introduced for fear of sounding immodest.
Or a female scientist who's discovered a groundbreaking technology who will refuse to take credit for her work or even grant the media an interview because "it was a group effort" or "I was just lucky."
Or the corporate high-flier or academic or any other high achiever who refuses to talk about her accomplishments because "people will think I am proud." I don't subscribe to the "prefix" female before any label for the record. For example, there's no female doctor, just a doctor.
The above has just been used for illustrative purposes.
Retards gender equality efforts
I could cite examples of times when women have short-changed themselves in the name of modesty, and I'm sure you could share your own examples, but suffice it to say the quest for modesty has retarded the progress of the gender equality agenda and that needs to stop.
Having said that, it's worth noting that my job is not to police women's behaviour.
I also acknowledge that religion plays a significant role in sustaining modesty culture among women (in speech, dressing, et cetera). I also know that there is a special place for modesty among womenfolk in life's rich tapestry. My point is this: That place does not exist in any gender equality conversation.
For the sake of those who've felt the lashes of gender injustice and to celebrate IWD 2022, let's abandon this notion that a good woman is a modest one.
Happy IWD.
Ms Oneya comments on social and gender topics. Twitter @FaithOneya; [email protected]
