No more 'boys don't cry': Teach children to challenge gender stereotypes early
A child learns easily, hence the need to start talking to them about gender equality early.
What you need to know:
- Children absorb gender stereotypes early; open conversations and role models help promote equality and challenge bias.
- From chores to sports and online safety, early actions shape children’s views on gender and equality.
Across the world, stereotypes about gender, and what it means to be a boy or girl, are prevalent. Research shows that by age three, children begin to absorb stereotypes. They are quick to pick up cues from family, media, school and society. In this regard, UN Women has given tips, tools, and real-life examples of how to spark age-appropriate conversations at home, in classrooms, and communities about gender equality and stereotypes.
Don’t shy away from difficult discussions
The UN Women notes that by talking to children openly and honestly about fairness, justice, and equality, you help them make sense of the world and inspire them to change it for the better. The toys they play with, the stories they hear, and the gendered roles they see adults perform all influence what they believe is “normal” for boys and girls. That’s why conversations about gender equality and stereotypes need to start early. But many adults aren’t sure how to begin.
Watch your words
The words we use, especially with children, can shape how they see themselves and others. Phrases like “boys don’t cry,” “she’s bossy,” or “he throws like a girl” may seem harmless but reinforce limiting beliefs about gender.
That’s why sparking conversations about gender roles early on and challenging these is essential to fostering equality. Use inclusive and empowering language. Praise children for effort, not just looks or physical strength. Use gender-neutral job titles when possible – firefighter instead of fireman, chair instead of chairman.
Share household chores
Children notice who does what at home: who cooks, who cleans, who decides. If work is shared fairly, it sends the message that everyone contributes and everyone’s time matters. Globally, women do around 2.5 times more unpaid care and domestic work than men. This imbalance starts young with girls often expected to help out more than boys. The UN agency says it doesn’t have to be this way. Sharing chores builds life skills, boosts children’s confidence, and respect for others' time and effort.
Inspiration from role models
Children learn by example, so show them role models who challenge gender stereotypes and stand for equality. Talk about celebrities and activists who use their platforms to speak up for inclusion. UN Women says parents should, for example, show their children what youth activists in their organisations do: from fighting period poverty, to helping young Afghan women get an education.
Safety and respect online
As children grow up, a big part of their friendships, learning, and play happens online. But digital spaces often mirror the gender stereotypes and inequalities that exist offline. Girls, women, and gender-diverse people often face higher risk of harassment, bullying, and abuse in digital spaces, especially when they challenge stereotypes.
These narratives can normalise violence and reinforce negative gender stereotypes. Helping children and teenagers navigate online spaces with empathy and critical thinking, and having open conversations with them is crucial to safety online and offline.
Lift up women and girls in sport
Sports build strength, confidence, and life-skills, but by age 14, girls drop out at twice the rate of boys. For many years, girls have struggled to see themselves represented or supported in sporting careers, but the sport ecosystem is rapidly changing. When girls see themselves on the field, and when boys see women as champions, it reshapes what they believe is possible for everyone.
