Period shaming: Victims share first experiences

Menstrual stigma and shame persist in pastoralist communities in northern Kenya, hurting women’s physical and mental health, sexuality, wellbeing and social status.

On May 28 as the world marked Menstrual Day, a section of sexual and reproductive health and rights activists narrated the harrowing ordeals girls and women face during menstruation because of shaming.

Mrs Universe Kenya-Marsabit County 2022 Joyce Elema, aka Elema Nyar Marsabit, in one of her social media posts, painted a picture of untold suffering. “The social oppression of women as menstruators or owners of a body regarded as unclean and deficient has continued to subject women to untold shame and mental torture created by society,” she said.

She recounted that during one of her chitchat sessions with women drawn from across Africa, they recounted their first menstruation experiences.

In five episodic narratives, Ms Elema vividly painted menstrual shame as an intensely painful experience that makes many girls and women believe they are flawed and unworthy of acceptance and belonging.

She told of how a woman, whom she referred to as Lady A, upon experiencing her first menses, broke the news to her sister, only for the sister to share it with the entire family, making her ashamed and uncomfortable. Fortunately, the family warmly embraced her and gave her a queenly treatment to assure her that she was getting initiated into womanhood. She had to skip school for one whole week.

Lady B* experienced her menses while in school and had to tie a sweater around her waist until she got home, where she lay on bed and lifted her legs against the wall to stop blood flow. During that entire period, her little brother wanted the two of them to play and kept begging in vain. He then reported to their mother her ‘weird behaviour’. The mother gave her a warm bath and a talk about menstruation.

Also read: Period stigma is backward and must be ended in Kenya

For Lady C, her first experience was never a walk in the park. Her menses began while she was in school. She had to trek back home without any pads on. Having lost her mother during her childhood, she only had a sister to share her experiences with. She showed her stained dress, only for the sister to chastise her and ask why she was acting as if something alien was happening to her.

The sister asked her to get out of her face, telling her that she had become “ripe enough” to handle her life as a woman. Lady C missed school for a week and the heavy flow compelled her to use pieces of cloth and mattress as sanitary pads.

For Lady D, who hailed from a Muslim community, the experience was painful but hilarious at first. When her younger sister bumped into her changing her soiled linen, she burst into loud cries and called on the other family members to rush to the aid of Lady D, whom she said was “urinating blood” and risked dying. Lady D hid for two days, even as she assured the younger sibling that nothing was wrong with her.

Guilt

In Lady E’s case, her first experience sparked fury. Her mother endlessly harangued her to stop playing with boys, making her feel guilty.

According to Ms Elema, most girls lack sanitary towels and the much-needed care, or even education about menstruation. She told Nation.Africa during a phone interview that menstrual stigma is immensely humiliating.

She held that the embarrassment is suffered as a profound sense of inadequacy, and often results in women avoiding social contact and feeling trapped, powerless and isolated. Many end up hiding.

Ms Elema urged women and girls to talk about menstrual shame, saying sharing their experiences is an effective way of establishing connections and ending stigma. She added that shame undermines women’s capacity to speak about menstruation and build necessary connections and resilience.

At Moi Girls’ High School, Marsabit, Guidance and Counselling teacher Amina Molu explained that menstruation as a monthly experience ought to be acknowledged and understood by all as a natural bodily function that should not be attached to negative attitudes.

Inferiority claim

She expressed concern that the stigma and negativity surrounding menstruation are cultural constructs created in contexts that view women as being inferior to men. Ms Molu added that ignorance, especially among pastoralists, creates fertile grounds for contempt and disgust towards menstrual blood and menstruating women.

She explained that as teachers they seek to challenge and reverse the silence and embarrassment surrounding menstruation by having lessons that equip students with knowledge of how to conduct themselves.

The event was organised by the Initiative for Progressive Change (IFPC) in collaboration with the Unesco Youth Forum Kenya, the Bough Foundation, Eco-bona company, the Polly Foundation, millennials and environmentalists.

Also read: Sanitary towels still inaccessible for most women, girls

UFPA-YAP member Tonny Olela, for his part, explained that recognising, respecting and celebrating menstruation disrupts patriarchal boundaries and misogyny. He described menstrual shame as a sexist construction, and urged women to break related taboos.

IFPC Representative Halima Hirbo said she was saddened by a reported incident in which a teacher period-shamed students who ended up committing suicide, saying such hateful behaviours should be rejected by all. She held that climate change has also exacerbated the plight of pastoralist women, who are already overburdened by patriarchy that forbids them from talking about sex in public.

Eco-bona founder Lenox Omondi called on communities to break menstruation taboos. He said cultural norms that require girls and women to maintain secrecy and silence contribute to the perpetuation of menstrual shame.

“Talking about the symptoms, moodiness and discomfort associated with menstruation can be one of the ways girls and women resist the culturally imposed directives for secrecy and silence during their menstrual cycles,” Mr Omondi said.

Girls Health Ed country programmes manager Brigit Muthoni noted the need to support menstrual health education to end cultural practices that make menstruation look like a life sentence. She said menstruation is still a taboo topic in most African communities, thus making it look like a hygiene crisis.

Menstrual etiquette required women to uphold taboos against themselves, especially through silence or concealment of their experiences, she said, adding that stigmatised language created a culture of shaming that viewed period stains as an embarrassing experience.

Ms Muthoni further expressed concern about the use of euphemisms to refer to genitals and menstruation, terming it a vivid reflection of shameful attitudes. “The use of euphemism and indirect language such as kile kitu (that thing) when community members communicate about menstruation shows that such euphemism has been employed to help skirt around speaking bluntly about menses.”

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