Sexual abuse: My lucky escape from a lecturer’s trap
Blaming the victim for sexual abuse is a common occurrence.A common comment is: 'Why did she not just say no?'
What you need to know:
- When I was in my fourth year of undergrad, I scored the highest CAT marks in one of my classes and the lecturer announced in class that I should go to his office to get money to buy pizza.
- With the help of my older classmates, I figured out he was up to no good. He had a history of sexually exploiting his students.
This long weekend was a ‘Netflix and chill’ one for me. Well, I was down with a bacterial infection, leaving me few options, anyway.
I landed on two movies that kept me glued: Kedibone and Citation. Shot in South Africa, then in Nigeria, Senegal, and Cape Verde, respectively, both films explored the issue of sexual harassment and sexual exploitation of female university students.
Both Kedibone and Moremi (lead characters in the two films) are ambitious young women committed to academic and career achievements. They both meet their Waterloo in manipulative, evil men, who come in the form of their professors or senior colleagues, who (try to) take advantage of their naiveté. Moremi is sexually assaulted, while Kedibone is sexually exploited. Moremi reports to the senate and there is a hearing. Kedibone, somehow, lives with the scars.
These two movies echo the BBC Eye Documentary titled Sex for Grades: Undercover inside Nigerian and Ghanaian Universities. You probably watched it because it caused quite a stir when it came out three years ago.
In the documentary, a reporter went undercover to expose lecturers who were sexually harassing their students. Many universities launched internal investigations after that, victims stepped forward and several culprits were brought to book.
I have done two runs through the Kenyan university system – both public and private. And the movies struck a chord too close to home.
When I was in my fourth year of undergrad, I scored the highest CAT marks in one of my classes. Sorry, I know the profile of female victims of sexual abuse, which is sold to you is that of girls who do not read their books, show up late for class, and have no clue why they are in university. I hope this has helped you crack the myth.
The lecturer announced in class that I should go to his office to get money to buy pizza – that would be my reward for doing well in his CAT. I was 21, and a whole pizza to myself was an exciting prospect. Is there anything wrong up until that point? I mean, in me coming tops in class or the lecturer appreciating his top student by offering them money for pizza in front of the whole class?
If your answer is no, then you are welcome to begin your exploration of the minds of lecturers who sexually abuse their students. Like every seasoned hunter, they begin by identifying their prey. This depends on what the pervert in question prefers. Young, innocent, naïve, bright, focused, unfocused, unambitious, lazy, tall, short, poor, brown skin, shy, rich, dark skin, you name it.
The point here is that when it comes to sexual exploitation by sick, perverted minds, no one is safe. This is a conclusion I drew not only after my experiences at both undergraduate and graduate levels, but also from reading newspaper articles and books, watching documentaries, and conversations with other women.
I was lucky I did not fall into his trap. It is a long story. But with the help of my older classmates, I figured out he was up to no good. He had a history of sexually exploiting his students.
The conversation I want us to have is why we need to stop blaming victims. A common comment I see on Facebook whenever a story about sexual abuse is published is: “Why did she not just say no?” And my question is: “Why is it her burden to say no?”
When young women go to college, they just want to get an education and build a future for themselves. It is uncalled-for to introduce unnecessary variables such as a lecturer calling at inappropriate times and then it becomes the work of a 19-year-old girl to explain to a grown man that he should not call her over inappropriate things.
Here is something to smile about, though. Both my movies ended well. Moremi was able to prove her innocence at the senate hearing. Kedibone, on the other hand, was able to get off all the sexual traps she had locked herself in with the help of her boyfriend and best friend.
The writer is the impact editor, Daily Nation; [email protected]
