The ravenous Kiambu octopus spreading its tentacles all over 

Actually, this article is as much about Mr Kuria as it is about chameleons and octopuses. Chameleons are known to change colour to suit surroundings, same as some octopuses. Some octopus species even change their texture to blend in. They also have many tentacles that can be in contact with many things at the same time. They can even shed a tentacle when in danger then grow another.

Like octopus tentacles, Mr Kuria’s coalition allegiances have been all over the place.

February 19. He is holding his thanksgiving in Thika after spending 149 days at a hospital in Dubai. He asks the crowd: “Do you want me to announce which coalition I belong to?”

Then he answers: “I belong to God.”

In the same gathering, he takes a swipe at the United Democratic Alliance, the party that Deputy President William Ruto is selling in his election bid.

“I was sacked from all parliamentary committees because of them,” he says.

February 27. Mr Kuria holds a meeting with One Kenya Alliance leaders, among them Wiper chief Kalonzo Musyoka, Narc-Kenya’s Martha Karua and UDP’s Cyrus Jirongo.

'God’s coalition'

“We agreed to work together as long as OKA is not joining the Azimio Coalition which is incompatible with me and the Chama cha Kazi Party,” he later posts on Facebook.

March 1. At the burial of Monica Waititu, the mother of former Kiambu governor Ferdinand Waititu, he reiterates his message that he is only in God’s coalition: “That is the coalition I know cannot let anyone down. That is the side that got me from the hospital.”

But he reiterates that he can never join Azimio la Umoja, the coalition supporting the presidential bid of ODM leader Raila Odinga.

“As long as I am alive, I will decide for myself. There is no day you will find me in Azimio. That is now in my control. If I die, it’s now upon you to decide if you can take me to Azimio. But even if I die, please don’t take me to Azimio,” he says.

At the same event, he derides the Jubilee Party led by President Uhuru Kenyatta: “Itasahaulika kama duka ya kamisi (It will be as irrelevant as a petticoat shop).”

March 4. Mr Kuria announces that his Chama cha Kazi party and 21 others are “in early talks” with the Kenya Kwanza Alliance, which is backing the presidential candidature of Dr Ruto.

“(It) will lead to a very broad-based grand coalition that will deliver the nation to peace and prosperity,” he posts.

Coming from a man who has been attacking Dr Ruto in some past instances, much as he insists they are “close” friends, Friday’s announcement leaves doubts as to whether anyone can take Mr Kuria’s latest declaration to the bank.

It may or may not be a good cheque because of Mr Kuria’s octopus tendencies. Octopuses can squeeze themselves through the tiniest of passages if that’s the only way to the next place.

Ravenous octopus

For Mr Kuria, the end justifies the means in politics. A refrain he has been sharing on social media as he posts about training sessions for aspirants is: “Mshindi ni yule atatangazwa. Hiyo ingine ni kipindi ya casino. (The only winner is the one who will be declared on election day. Anything else is stories for the casino).”

Bullish and ambitious with his party, Mr Kuria is a believer in the motto that some things are there to be grabbed. 

In a 2020 interview with Jalang’o TV, he said that is why he appointed himself as the spokesman of the Party of National Unity ahead of the 2007 elections, adding that he faked it until the media believed he had actually been assigned the role.

“Politics does not belong to anyone. Get in, cut your space. And use whatever skills God helps you with,” he said.

It appears Mr Kuria is using octopus tactics this time, employing the ambush predator strategy to his benefit and to promote his party in Central Kenya as he aspires to be elected the Kiambu governor in the August 9 polls.

However, his party is welcoming applicants for the presidential position as per a notice recently posted, meaning he is not shying away from causing ripples in the political landscape.

A former elected treasurer with the defunct Student Union of Nairobi University, Mr Kuria has been involved in the presidential campaigns of Kenneth Matiba (1992), Mwai Kibaki (1997, 2002, 2007) and Uhuru Kenyatta (2013, 2017).

He has also had a stint in the banking world, both locally and abroad, and he is a businessman with interests in textile manufacture and technological solutions.

Having become an MP through the direct and indirect support of President Uhuru Kenyatta in 2014 when he was allied to the TNA Party, Mr Kuria’s knack for controversy and unpredictability have made him a force in his own right.

But in the sea of politics, the ravenous octopus also has predators. Might the 51-year-old be provoking the seals and the sharks?

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