There is a growing concern that toxic masculinity, if not checked, will destroy many boys across the globe.
Statistics of rape, violence and murder crimes often point an accusing finger at men for their efforts to assert their manhood. There is nothing in the genetic makeup of boys that gives them a bias for social wrongs. The problem is nothing but the consequence of nurture.
As such, there is a need to correct this incongruity and guarantee our boys stable fatherhood and happy family life in their later years.
This can only be done after a thorough scrutiny of the socialisation process that boys undergo. Boys should be given life lessons to equip them with what is expected of a man and a father. Somebody should also walk them through the turbulence of adolescence.
The very approach that traditional societies used to institutionalise patriarchy should be used to root it out. The seclusion period during the initiation of boys in most Kenyan communities was loaded with chauvinistic lessons. The practice was so entrenched that even women had come to appreciate it.
As such, the resources for this very curriculum need to be replaced with modern lessons on what makes responsible manhood.
First, boys need to know that the macho demeanour that was traditionally expected of them after initiation can only be frowned upon in modern society.
Secondly, the narrative of an all-powerful man who does not have to say much but owns a servant of a wife who understands his needs even before he articulates them has only worked to disadvantage the boy child.
Thirdly, they must stop soaking up the toxic masculinity sold by popular movies and on social media.
Lastly, there is no standard curriculum for fatherhood. Although motherhood too may lack a structured curriculum, girls have often been inducted into motherhood and girlhood through an informal course.
People will often describe the tone of a well-bred girl, their demeanour and conduct, yet they have no idea what the tone of a well-bred boy should be.
Dr Mwirigi is a researcher, author and Principal, Kagumo High School. [email protected]
