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Just a Man: This Valentine’s just give your man peace

Love

Ladies, it’s all about tact; not being a tough cookie.

Photo credit: Samuel Muigai| NMG

What you need to know:

  • The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s taken on an all-expenses paid date in a ritzy joint; but the day he is appreciated. It’s the day he’s not taken for granted.
  • If you give a man peace, he will give you every precious gift under the sun. Heck, he’ll attempt a daring stunt to bring you the ‘sun’.

In matters love and relationships, the most important day in a man’s life is the day he’s shown honour. Men feel loved when they are honoured. To men, honour is a verb not verbiage. You don’t preach it; you act it. Often, honour is not in the big things, but in microscopic specs that are unseen to the naked eyes, but which even shortsighted men can spot from ‘Mercury’.

The most important day in a man's life is not the day he’s given precious gifts; but the day he’s given peace.

If you give a man peace, he will give you every precious gift under the sun. Heck, he’ll attempt a daring stunt to bring you the ‘sun’.

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s taken on an all-expenses paid date in a ritzy joint; but the day he is appreciated. It’s the day he’s not taken for granted.

When a man’s sacrifice and sweat is appreciated, he will grind nonstop like a posho mill in Butere. He may only bring home bread and bacon, but if you appreciate his efforts, he will work his fingers to the bone to own a bakery and butchery.

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s given an open cheque; it’s the day he’s given honest compliments. It could be in little things only his woman perceives. In the subtle art of complementation, details are big blessed deals.

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s showered with lavish gifts; it’s the day he’s showered with joy. I said joy not happiness. The latter, which is fleeting and often selfish, depends on the rightness of external circumstances. The former, which is infectious and long-term, is an inside job and is anchored on virtue.

Handled with dignity

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s given a standing ovation; it’s the day he’s given understanding. Understanding doesn’t mean a man’s frailties are ignored, but are handled with utmost dignity. It means his tragic flaws are not used against him and blunders are not put on blast.

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s given the best seat in the house; it’s the day he’s given a safe space. A safe space is an attentive ear and perceptive heart. It’s a tongue that doesn’t nag or niggle. It’s stitched lips that don’t reveal his secrets and weaknesses. It’s a bosom that never shares a man’s tears and fears. It’s hugs without concealed sabres and sweet kisses with no trace whatsoever of Judas’ sour saliva.

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day he’s treated out; it’s the day he’s treated right. You need not break the bank to pull this off. It’s all about being thoughtful and tender. Sisters, for a full course in this age-old art, listen to Cater 2 U by Destiny’s Child.

The most important day in a man’s life is not the day his woman rubs his back with the finest massage oils; it’s the day she has his back.

Having a man’s back means though the brother may be wrong, you know how to handle his back while, simultaneously, soothingly turning his neck toward what’s right; yet making it seem like he’s doing it all by himself.

Ladies, it’s all about tact; not being a tough cookie.

In matters love and relationships, the most important day in a man’s life is not Valentine’s Day, but all days before and after.