As long as you have the will, a plan, the means, and breathe in your lungs, you can start all over again and rebuild your life. That is what growing older has taught me.
Once upon a time, when I was younger, I believed that once you get to a certain age and haven’t done certain things, those things, those experiences, are lost forever. For instance, not having a child by a certain date, not getting married at a certain age, not building a home or buying a car at a certain age. Or even getting that degree or master’s degree at a certain age.
I have since learned that there is a lot we don’t know in our youth. Now that I’m older, and I’m talking from experience (and observation), it is never too late to do anything you want. Just a week ago, I visited a friend in her late 40s who gave birth to her second child a few months ago. Her first born is 21, and there was a time when she thought she would never have another child, but in her mid-40s, she started yearning for another.
Many of those close to her were aghast when she discussed this yearning and discouraged her, pointing out that she would be an “old” mum and that, if anything, she was past her child-bearing age. All the voices filled her with apprehension, but she shook off the fear and decided to go with her gut feeling.
She felt ready for this second phase of her life- she was financially stable and could therefore afford another child; she was emotionally and psychologically stable; and she had a network of support around her, including live-in help. And so she went ahead and got her ‘retirement’ baby. You should have seen how elated she was when I visited. She was practically glowing, and gazing lovingly at the bundle of joy in her arms, she had shaved off 10 years.
In July and August this year, quite a number of Kenyans graduated from various universities across the country. I was pleasantly surprised when an acquaintance posted on social media a picture of her 56-year-old mother who had graduated with her first degree. This reinforced my belief that it is never too late to pursue your dreams, that there is no cut off age to make your dreams come true.
I imagined that the courageous woman might have lacked the time to return to school and get a degree because she was too busy raising children and doing everything else in between. Or perhaps money might have been tight at that ‘right’ time; therefore, she could not afford to pay for a parallel programme at university. And then her children completed school, got jobs and moved out of home. Suddenly, she had time. And money. And so she decided to heed that dream at the back of her mind that had been persistently nagging at her all those years.
And yes, there is not cut off age for owning a home, or owning your first car. Or starting all over again, starting from scratch. As long as you have the will, a plan, the means and breath in your lungs, you can start all over again and rebuild your life. That is what growing older has taught me. I have also learned that what holds us back is the fear of failing and what society will say. Especially what society will say.
But age also comes with audacity, I have learned. Calm unconcern, a lack of emotional investment in other people's opinions. I would say, from experience, that this is the greatest gift that comes with growing older because it gives you permission to boldly go after everything you were afraid to go after in your younger years. If you’re my agemate, do you agree?
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