Why falling in love makes you do irrational things

Did you hear about the guy who took a two-hour flight to the city his girlfriend lived in just to fix a lock, after which he returned home the same day?

Or about the woman who tattooed her lover’s name on an intimate part of her body as a declaration of love and commitment?

A friend once told us that he started playing rugby, not for the love of the game, but to win the affection of a certain woman.

Imagine all that punitive discipline of early mornings, jogging and practice sessions, all to win the affection of a woman. Men assume that we love rippling muscles and sweat. These things find us.

They kind of fall on our laps as we wait for the never-arriving Prince Charming. We find ourselves laughing with the rippling muscles and watching, with religious dedication, a display of pure male beauty in mini shorts, with sweat oozing from every pore, glistening their skin like massage oil.

Wait, where were we? Crazy love.
 

The things people do when in love. We all know about Lord Egerton’s castle, a result of love, though, sadly, unrequited, not to mention the Maasai Morans facing a lion for the love of a girl.
In his book, Love Sick, Frank Tallis writes that if we take the symptoms of falling in love and “check them against accepted diagnostic criteria for mental illness, we find that most ‘lovers’ qualify for diagnoses of obsessional illness, depression or manic depression.”

In other words, being in love happens in the brain. It causes changes in the brain, like a variety of mental illnesses.

Expressions such as incurable or hopeless romantic depict a person with an illness beyond cure. Falling in love, contrary to what we think, is not a heart condition, but a medical one.

Next time we see the wacko grand gestures of lovers smitten by Cupid, say a prayer for a quick recovery. They are in an altered state of consciousness. They can sell land and cows, or better still, make hasty vows that bind them for life, ‘until death do us part.’

They need our understanding. Dr Tallis further explains that symptoms of love illness include obsessive thoughts, erratic mood swings, insomnia, loss of appetite, recurrent and persistent images, and impulses, superstitious or ritualistic compulsions, delusion, and the inability to concentrate.

 Love is universal and goes beyond the human kingdom. If you want to see love demonstrated, check out a mother hen defending her chicks against a bulldog.

There is no fear in love, just craziness, loads of it. Love makes otherwise normal people do wild things, as psychologist Eli Finkel says.

“They will stalk, hack into email, eavesdrop, and do other things they would never do in a rational frame of mind.”
When love is lost, or unrequited, the love patient experiences withdrawal symptoms akin to a patient in addiction recovery.

These include depression, anxiety, reduced motivation, difficulty experiencing pleasure, apathy, and even more serious symptoms, such as the development of hallucinations and delusions.

During the season of love loss, a patient walks in the streets and they can swear that they saw their love object, only it turns out to be a stranger.

They idealise their ex-lover, and they see things, not as they were but as their brain wants them to see. When someone is heartbroken, they need time and care to detox as heartbreak is traumatic.

As a caution, do not pour scorn on love. A hurricane has nothing on a love scorned.
Please be patient with new lovers. Do not even try to reason with them about their reckless absurdities.

You can hide the title deed and logbook for sure because lovers have been known to transfer their life’s savings and property to another, ‘without thinking.’

They are not themselves and will not listen to you stating the realities of life. Smile, let them enjoy the moment, and pray that they will be among the 40 percent who grow their puppy love into a deep lifetime commitment when the powerful effects of dopamine wear off.
You do not need to consume alcohol or any other stimulant to achieve a reckless high.

Every human being will experience this love sickness at least once in a lifetime. Like chicken pox, pray that your turn comes quickly but never leaves permanent scars once it has passed.

Love is beautiful, crazy, and flashy. Go ahead, fall in love, and make the world a happier place.

Karimi is a wife and mother who believes marriage is worth it.