Employers who are facing the sudden departure of a nanny feel hurt and overwhelmed.
One week into the new year, Margaret Wanjiru woke up one morning to the sound of her child’s giggles. The house was peaceful and quiet. Too quiet…
“I sat up. Something felt off. No clinking of dishes in the kitchen or any movement. It hit me: my nanny was gone. At first, I thought she might have stepped out for a quick errand. But as minutes turned into hours, the truth became glaringly obvious. She had ghosted us. No goodbye, no explanation, just vanished. My heart sank.”
Margaret Wanjiru, a first-time mother, was shocked when she woke up one morning and found the nanny had left even without saying goodbye.
As a first-time mother, Margaret felt lost.
“My nanny was not just an employee; she was part of our daily rhythm, the one who helped me keep things moving when the demands of motherhood became overwhelming. Her sudden departure cut deep and I took time to process what had happened.”
A week later, Margret sought help from her aunt.
“My younger cousin who cleared Form Four last year came over to help with house chores. Often, we do the chores together. She loves my child and is always carrying her around as I rest or do other things.”
Over time, Margaret says her resentment and bitterness with the ex-nanny faded.
“I chose to be grateful for the time she was with us, for the moments she lightened my load, and for the lessons I was now learning in her absence. Something has shifted in me, I can no longer rely entirely on anyone else to keep my home running. I have grown wiser and more independent.”
To employers who are facing the sudden departure of a nanny, Margaret says:
“It’s okay to feel hurt, to cry and be overwhelmed. But don’t stay in that place too long. You will find your way, one day at a time. And in the end, you might surprise yourself with just how strong you are.”
Nasty fall-out
When Eunice Victoria, a job hunt coach, hired a house girl from Uganda, in 2024 she believed she had found someone reliable to help manage her home life amidst her busy work schedule.
Eunice Victoria made the mistake of picking a nanny outside a bureau and taking her to her home without signing any contract.
Little did she know that her journey with house help would later become a rollercoaster ride of lessons on trust, communication, and resilience.
Eunice's story began with a familiar December dilemma that happens to most families, nannies leaving for holiday.
"My house girl did not come back after December. She was from Uganda, and she needed to travel back home. She had been open about it, and I even relieved her earlier in December so she could go home," Eunice narrates.
Phylis Webi, a HR practitioner who shares tips on what to do after your house help does not return after the holidays.
As someone who often works from home but also travels frequently, having reliable domestic help is not a luxury—it is a necessity.
To fill the gap during the festive season, Eunice hired another girl temporarily, only for things to spiral out of control when the new year began.
"I stayed with the girl for about two weeks. Then one day, I woke up and found she was gone. Just like that. She must have left during the night. I don’t even know how they opened the gate for her."
Desperation hit hard. It was the start of a new year, and work was piling up. Without a house help, life felt chaotic.
Determined to find a quick solution, she headed to a local bureau.
"I went carrying my child, desperate to get help. When I arrived, there were two house girls seated there, looking for employment. One of them struck me as decent and well-prepared. She confidently handed me her ID and introduced herself. She seemed to know her worth and spoke with an air of confidence that convinced me she could handle the job without much supervision."
Despite the bureau not being officially open, Eunice and the nanny agreed to an informal arrangement, and she took the girl home.
Initially, things seemed promising.
"She settled in well, and I even spoke to different people including her mother. Her family seemed happy, and so was I. She was eager, always smiling, and willing to work and I thought I had found someone reliable."
However, cracks began to show when it came to actual tasks.
"I was getting frustrated as the girl didn’t seem to know basic things. I found myself constantly guiding her, from washing utensils to cooking. It became clear she was inexperienced, and honestly, I wasn’t getting value for the salary she asked for. I needed a professional who could work without constant supervision.”
Eunice returned home one evening to find her child playing on her bed with dirty hands, something that triggered her Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
"I have OCD. Finding my bed dirty was the last straw. I had been patient, but I couldn’t keep doing everything myself while paying someone to help. I decided it was time to let the girl go. I gave her some money for her troubles and explained that I couldn’t keep her. I even paid the bureau fee so she could find another job."
But things didn’t end there.
Soon after, the watchman alerted her that the girl was crying at the gate, claiming she had not been given her ID back.
"I had taken a photo of her ID for reference but had returned the original. She must have forgotten. I told the watchman to let her in so she could retrieve it from where she had left it."
By this point, word had spread among the residents and watchmen.
"Everyone was looking at me like I was the bad guy. They didn’t want to hear my side of the story. I felt like I was the outsider."
The situation escalated, with accusations flying and emotions running high.
"I told the watchmen to open the gate and let her leave, but they wouldn’t listen. Eventually, I decided to call the agent who had helped me find the house."
The agent intervened and promised to speak to the landlord.
"He understood my predicament and assured me that the watchmen had no right to interfere in such matters. Eventually, they opened the gate, and the girl left. But by then, my reputation had taken a hit."
Reflecting on the ordeal, she shares some hard-earned lessons.
"First, always have proper documentation when hiring from a bureau. Without it, you have no proof of where you got the help from, and it becomes your word against theirs. Second, build a relationship with your neighbourhood’s security team. Let them know who you are. If they don’t know you, they won’t support you when things go south. That was my case because most people don't know me there."
Despite the setbacks, she remains hopeful.
"I’m currently staying with a day-burg who worked for me before she got a child. I will have this one I think, for the rest of my life if possible because so far, my life is easy. My house is clean. Everything is neat and my child has a playmate."
False hope, sticky fingers
Tabitha Sinai, a mother juggling work and family life, shared how her trusted nanny ghosted her.
"I gave my nanny leave on December 20, and I wanted to make sure she felt appreciated, so I gave her some shopping money on top of paying her full salary for the month.
"I valued her because she was good with my baby and excellent at managing the house chores. Before she left, we had an agreement that she would be back on January 2. Everything seemed fine, and I trusted that she would return as promised.”
However, Tabitha began to have doubts soon after the nanny left. “Something didn’t sit right with me after she left. I decided to check her room, just to confirm that she had left her belongings behind. To my surprise, I found nothing, not a single item that belonged to her. It was as if she had completely moved out without saying a word."
Despite her suspicions, Tabitha held onto the hope that her nanny would honour their agreement.
The nanny even called Tabitha on Christmas Day, which further reassured her.
"She called to check on us and the baby, which made me think she still cared,” she recalled.
"I didn’t want to lose her because finding a good nanny is incredibly difficult.”
Tabitha got a dose of reality when the nanny failed to show up on January 2.
"I tried calling her multiple times on New Year’s Day, but she didn’t pick up any of my calls.”
Out of desperation, Tabitha used her husband’s phone to call the nanny.
This time, the nanny answered.
“I pretended to be a potential employer looking for a nanny, and she didn’t hesitate to say she was available for work. She even told me the amount she wanted as a salary, which was significantly lower than what I had been paying her. At that moment, I realized she had no intention of returning.”
Tabitha was left in shock. “She had called to check on us just a few days earlier, giving me the impression that she cared, yet here she was, ready to work for someone else for less money,” she said.
The betrayal didn’t end there. She discovered that some items from her home were missing, including non-stick sufurias, shoes, and some of her clothes.
Despite the pain and betrayal, Tabitha has tried to move on.
"I have a new nanny now, but my son still asks for the other one."
Now you see me, now you don’t
Delannie Wairimu is a mother of two children, under the age of two.
"I had a very incompetent nanny who loved having fun. She seemed to want everything I had, even copied my hairstyles, but I was okay with her because she was handling the house chores."
Delannie Wairimu and her husband, Douglas Cox, who reside in Kilimani, Nairobi, are parents to two children who are below two. Delannie was left stranded after the nanny failed to resume work in January this year.
Delannie chose to keep her on because finding reliable help is a constant struggle for many parents. However, things took a turn for the worse over the holiday season.
"I let her go on leave on New Year’s Eve, and she came back on the 2nd. But just five days later, on January 7, the nanny unexpectedly announced she was leaving. She didn’t give me a reason. I figured she probably had a boyfriend or fiance."
Fortunately, Delannie had a second nanny, but the timing was off as she too was on leave.
"They both left on the 31st, so I had to call her back. It was incredibly hard to handle two children under two all on my own during the transition period."
Delannie describes the chaos of those few days vividly.
"The smaller one is a bit easier to manage, but when the 20-month-old wakes up, it’s complete chaos. There are tantrums and endless cries for attention. It was overwhelming."
Despite the challenges, Delannie decided to take her time in hiring a replacement. The idea was to find someone she could trust.
“The agency where I got my ex-nanny referred another one to me. I hired her but I am yet to assign any roles related to my babies. Those are handled by the other nanny. At least until trust is earned.”
