For the mothers in the house with teens or young adults, how has your son or daughter saved you in their phones?
I ask this because the other day, I came across a hilarious post on social media by a woman who had recently discovered that her beloved 19-year-old, her precious last born, apple of her eye, had saved her ‘Mokoro’, (some spell it Mukoro) old lady, which is sheng for mum. She was so taken aback, she decided to share her dismay on social media. She explained that the least she had expected was ‘mum’, the universal endearment for mothers, but would have preferred ‘Sweet mum’ ‘World’s Best Mum’ or ‘Mum Dearest’ to signify the special place she holds in her only son’s heart. Only to come face-to-face with an impersonal name which did not make her feel special.
I don’t know what she expected when she shared her disappointment, but if she read the over 1K comments her post elicited, then she must have been comforted. Comforted because many mothers confessed to worse tags. One woman said that her children had saved her number under the name ‘Fire si Fire’, another ‘Enforcer’, yet another ‘Pasi Moto’, and one ‘Teren, Teren’. There is also a woman who said that her son, called Kibe, had saved her ‘Mama Shiko’, referring to her daughter. As I continued to go through the comments, one woman had me laugh out loud when she confessed that her 21-year-old son had saved her ‘Simba’. She says that on the day she found out that her child thought she and a lion shared the same characteristics, she went into deep introspection, afraid that she had been too high-handed when raising him.
Did I mention the mother who discovered that one of her children hadn’t saved her number to begin with? She explained that even though she had mixed feelings about what that meant, she decided to take the optimistic route and console herself that what mattered was that her teen knew her phone number by heart...
Fortunately, my two teens have saved me as ‘mum’, and I really hope, for the sake of my self-esteem, that the name will not change as they grow older. I have a bone to pick with them though. More often than not, they ‘blue-tick’ me whenever I send them a video or a screenshot of something I think is inspiring or motivating. Feeling ‘some type of way’ about being snubbed, yet I was the one that gave birth to them, changed their diapers and nursed them back to health numerous times, I decided to confront them about two weeks ago. Mind you, many of these forwards were prayers declaring many good things over their lives, therefore I couldn’t understand why they did not react in any way.
The conversation, if I remember correctly, started this way, “Do you two read the stuff that I send you on WhatsApp?” They both gave each other a certain look they normally exchange when they sense that I’m unhappy about something they did or did not do. A look that says, “Here we go again…”
“Yeeess…” my daughter volunteered tentatively, wondering where this conversation was headed.
“Then why do you blue-tick me?” I asked.
“But mum, we read…” my daughter said, genuinely puzzled why this was an issue.
“Si then you at least put a ‘love’ emoji or a ‘thumbs up’ instead of ignoring me?” I insisted.
“Okay,” my son finally offered, giving me a thumbs-up sign and a grin to signify that I was “Causing” for nothing.
If you’re wondering, I haven’t forwarded them anything since then. I don’t want to suffer from a broken heart just in case they fail to react with an emoji even after I “caused”. By the way, is this word used anymore or has it been overtaken by events?
Anyway, I have often heard parents with older children in university or college complain that their children only call them or text them when they need upkeep money. One exasperated mother went to the extent of telling her college-going son that the only way to earn his pocket money was by calling her at least once a week. She says that it worked after she made good her threat. Again, from conversations with older parents, apparently this ‘selfishness’ and disregard changes when they step into adulthood and realise just how integral a parent is in their lives. And when they get children of their own, for a majority, their ‘Mokoro’ or ‘Fire si Fire’ is on speed dial. Finally, they realise the importance of a mother.
Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow mums! May your children call you today, text you, buy you something, or take you somewhere.
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