All relationships have their ups and downs, but neither of you should be getting angry at the smallest things.
Is your relationship like a rollercoaster? Up and down and slightly out of control? Are the lows awful, but the highs so good that you can’t let go?
Then it’s time you took a good look at yourself and your partner, because stormy relationships can easily become really toxic. Like, do you keep having the same fight over and over again, and it’s getting increasingly heated?
Then your relationship is probably going in the wrong direction, though it may be possible to turn things around. The key is understanding that the content of the argument is less important than finding ways to resolve the underlying dispute.
Marriages where emotions are suppressed often end suddenly and unexpectedly during a crisis.
In a healthy relationship, both partners are able to forgive and put the past behind them, so if your pasts never seem to stay in the past and neither of you can let go of previous hurts, then your future together is likely to be bleak.
All relationships have their ups and downs, but neither of you should be getting angry at the smallest things. What can make that complicated is that those rows are often resolved via great makeup sex, and in stormy relationships, there’s always a lot of makeup sex. But it’s easy to confuse great sex with a good all-around connection.
There’s usually also a lot of gaslighting in stormy relationships, so you’re likely to start doubting yourself. If you sense that’s happening, then you need to set some boundaries and spend time with friends who can reassure you. Gaslighting is a form of emotional and mental abuse, and a serious red flag in a relationship.
Another red flag is when your relationship seems like it could blow up into a fight at any moment. If you feel you’re constantly walking on eggshells, then it’s time to seriously re-evaluate the value of your partnership.
You should also reflect on your own individual emotional health. Maybe you’re stressed out with work or other events in your life, and these are seeping into your relationship. Don’t make your partner the scapegoat for your stress outside of the home.
There is always hope for a stormy relationship to improve, but it will take work and willingness from both of you. And that’s not easy to achieve. Plus, not all relationships are built to last. So how do you tell the difference?
Trust your instincts. If your gut says that the ups and downs are too much, then they are. It takes two to engage in a stormy relationship, but if one of you wants something better, then the storms have to end.
But can you work things out? Ultimately, the question is whether or not the relationship is meeting your needs, and more importantly, whether you feel emotionally and physically safe with your partner.
If the answer to either of those questions is no, then it’s time to let go and move on. You deserve security and peace in a happy relationship, so don’t settle for less.
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