There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, but some are truly wonderful. So what makes them so successful?
Couples in healthy relationships trust one another deeply, and this allows them to open up to one another about their whole lives. Past, present and future.
They comfortably discuss uncomfortable topics, and constantly grow closer. So if you feel able to be completely open and honest with your partner, then your relationship’s on the right track. No topic is off-limits, there are no secrets, you both feel heard and understood, and you’re successfully building a lasting life together.
You’re open to each other’s differing perspectives on issues. You’re able to understand each other’s needs and you hear one another out rather than criticising, even when your opinions differ. You make time for each other, and reflect on what’s working and what needs improving in your relationship.
Despite how strongly you’re bonded together, you still recognise each other’s autonomy. Two separate individuals who bring your different experiences and viewpoints to the issues you face.
Which means that there are bound to be disagreements between you, which will need resolving. Because if you aren’t fighting, chances are one of you is holding back! But you’ve learned to fight fair, and avoid name-calling and put-downs. You strive to understand each other instead of trying to score points. And you apologise when you’re wrong.
You’re in love, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend every moment together. You each pursue your own interests and friendships and continue to grow as individuals, even while you’re growing closer as a couple. Your relationship is based on reality, and the recognition that neither of you is perfect. So you accept and value each other for who you are right now.
Neither of you calls all the shots. You make decisions together and listen to each other’s concerns and desires.
Your relationship is full of laughter and fun, even though you also annoy each other and say things that are hurtful from time to time. Your life is happy in simple ways, like eating a meal together and enjoying each other’s company.
Sometimes one of you has to spend more hours at work, or responding to their wider family’s demands, so the other does more of the cooking and chores. But in the long run, your trade-offs seem fair, and you don’t feel the need to keep score.
You always treat each other with consideration, empathy and appreciation. And never find yourself giving more attention to colleagues, family and friends than you do to each other.
You make time for intimacy in your relationship, and your lovemaking includes far more than just sex. You feel connected, in and out of bed, and always feel close.
But above all your relationship is a safe place to come home to at the end of the day. So that even when times are hard, you’d always rather be with your partner than anyone else.
