Your children’s feelings about their appearance develop from ads, images of celebrities, interactions with school friends, and especially conversations with you.
So you should actively encourage your children to develop a positive body image.
Be a good role model by accepting your body the way it is, and being positive about food and exercise. Avoid constantly talking about dieting or working out, or your children will think that people should be some sort of perfect shape.
Make time for meals and eat together as a family, all sharing the same food and exercising simple healthy moderation. Like don’t skip dessert, just have a smaller portion!
And encourage your children to cook! Involve them in chopping vegetables and stirring pots, so they grow up knowing how a meal is made.
Children don’t need to work out, they just need to play energetically. Some love every sport there is. Others just need encouraging to run around with family and friends.
Help your children to focus on their abilities and personalities rather than their appearance. Because skills like football, studying, or playing a musical instrument will help them build confidence.
Help your children understand that their bodies will change as they grow, and that there’s no ‘ideal’ body shape. It’s normal for older kids to worry about their appearance, and what seem trivial issues to you will feel huge to them. So be patient, but also set reasonable boundaries around bathroom time and clothing choices. Limits help children keep their appearance in perspective
Recognise though that time spent grooming with friends and experimenting with clothes and hair help them get to like the new self they’re seeing in the mirror. It’s also a way to express their interests and personality, their independence and identity.
And it’s not just girls who focus on their appearance. Boys also worry about their hair, acne, shaving, muscles, so keep the communication lines open. If one of your children tells you they look bad, drop what you’re doing and listen.
Don’t just dismiss their fears, and instead try to spot any underlying issues, like appearance-related teasing at school. Let them know that you also worried about your appearance at their age, but that it didn’t stop you from becoming what you wanted to be.
Having said that, modern society seems completely fixated on youth and beauty. So encourage your children to think about what they see online and in ads. Explain that photos of models are hugely unrealistic and have been heavily retouched. There are some great videos online which show how that’s done, for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17j5QzF3kqE
And help your children to develop resilience. Sympathise with their worries, but also help them understand that whatever it is they dislike about their appearance, it won’t hold them back in practice. Encourage them to think, ‘I can cope with this,’ and gradually, they will - and they’ll develop a positive and healthy body image.
