Clement Onyango (left), Phiona Mwangi and Vincent Ndegwa.
“Valentine is coming, where is your boyfriend? …” This playful song returns every February, filling timelines and teasing hearts. The streets glow in red, roses bloom on every corner, and couples step out with hands full of gifts and sweet promises.
But beyond the red roses and candlelit dinners, far from home, another story unfolds, of Kenyans spending Valentine’s Day in the diaspora.
Vincent Ndegwa, 31, is a structured finance professional based in Poland. This year, he marks his third Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship, keeping love alive through handwritten letters and yearly journals.
Vincent Ndegwa, 31, is based in Poland where he works in structured finance. This year marks his third Valentine’s away from Kenya, in a long-distance relationship that began in 2023. “Interestingly, we have never been together on Valentine’s. We have learned to survive the distance,” he reflects. Loving from afar, he explains, is not glamorous. It is quiet work that demands patience, trust, and the daily decision to stay.
Over time, Vincent and his partner built traditions to anchor their relationship such as exchanging handwritten love letters. He keeps a diary of their journey, recording each year’s struggles and growth. At the end of the year, when he returns home (Kenya), he leaves the diary with her.
“I’m really sentimental in writing down how I feel, especially when I am away and she still chooses to be in love with me. This Valentine’s, I want to gift her something she has longed for,” he says.
Vincent says that if he were in Kenya, he knows exactly how the day would unfold. “We would have certainly gone for a late lunch or dinner, just to spend quality time together.”
My relationship ended on Valentine’s Day
Phiona Mwangi, 28, is an assistant traffic engineer based in Ireland. She is redefining Valentine’s Day by organising a girls’ trip.
Phiona Mwangi, 28, works as an assistant traffic engineer in Poland. The last time she celebrated Valentine’s Day with a partner, she says, was years ago. But that has not stopped her from marking the day in her own way.
The last proper Valentine’s she remembers was when she was about 22, in her fourth year at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology. “He took me out to dinner. It was nice. I was all dressed up and everything. He showed up with flowers. I felt loved and appreciated,” she recalls. But the relationship did not last.
Years later, just before she moved abroad, she found herself in another relationship that turned long distance. It ended on Valentine’s Day in 2024. “Who does that? On Valentine’s Day?” It was winter. She admits it was a very difficult time. “I’m not going to lie. I was depressed.” The heartbreak affected her deeply, and she struggled in the months that followed. “Oh yeah. I lost my mind. It was really bad.”
Last year, instead of focusing on romance, she chose something different. She was living with two roommates, and they were all single women. “We were like, we should host a bunch of other single babes on Valentine’s Day,” she says. They set up the apartment with snacks, wine, music, and games. “It was a really good time.” It became her version of Galentine’s celebrating love through friendship.
This year, she is taking it even further and organising a group trip to Northern Ireland. “The itinerary looks pretty interesting,” she says. The day will start at 7am with a visit to the Titanic Museum, followed by Dunluce Castle, known for its medieval ruins and history, and end at the Giant’s Causeway.
The trip will cost about Sh16,000 per person. For her, it is worth it. She explains that making friends abroad, especially female friends, can be difficult. That is why she is bringing together girls who have never met before. “It is all strangers,” she says, hoping new bonds will grow.
She admits she is “low-key seeing someone,” but she is waiting to see where it goes. Still, she plans to continue celebrating Galentine’s every year. “I think it is a really fun tradition to have,” she says.
We don’t get time to hang out
For 35-year-old Kepha Ogembo, life in Qatar has been more of work schedules than romantic plans. He has been abroad since 2023, working as a CCTV operator, a job that demands long hours and strict attention. Sometimes his shift starts at 3am and ends much later.
“From this end it is a little bit complicated. Time moves around work. Valentines is just a normal working day for us,” says Kepha.
Unlike the loud celebrations seen on social media, Kepha explains that in Qatar the day passes quietly. “People from this end are not loud on Valentine’s Day. Maybe you see people later in the evening going out for dinner but not many of them,” he adds, “here, most of us work for long hours.”
For him, long hour shift work has limited most of his social plans. “Long hours consume much of my time, leaving little room for gatherings or celebrations and even time with my beloved wife.”
Even though his wife is also in Qatar, they both work in different fields with different schedules. That makes it difficult to meet up. They barely get time together unless one of them is on leave or off duty. Still, they make the most of the little time they find.
“During free time, I try to make up for the time lost,” he explains. “We make sure to always go out; spend quality time together because this has become our lives, so the little time we get, that is quality for us.” They mostly enjoy going to malls and restaurants for their dates. “We visited the famous Villagio Mall. It is beautiful here and perfect for a date. Other times, we go to Vendome Mall in Doha. It is not always planned around Valentine’s Day. It is simply when time allows.”
Clement Onyango, 30, is a PhD student in International Relations in Moscow, Russia. He celebrates Valentine’s Day through meaningful gifts.
Clement Onyango is in Moscow pursuing a PhD in International Relations. At 30, Clement has never spent a Valentine’s Day with his partner. “Unfortunately, I have been away for quite a long time now. I have been focusing on other aspects of life but hopefully, very soon, I will take it seriously. Nothing is lost.”
He now has a girlfriend, but they live far separated by continents. Because of that, Valentine’s Day is mostly about communication. “For us, every day is Valentine’s Day,” he says. Even though the day is special, he believes love should be shown daily.
Since they are apart, he leans on what he calls the popular ways of celebrating loved ones when you cannot be around them - gifts and constant communication. “Most importantly is to have the communication going,” he explains. He believes that even couples who are physically together can struggle without honest communication.
Clement says he wouldn’t spend less than Sh64,000 on his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. To him, it is about value and intention. Still, he adds that it depends on someone’s ability. “I have chosen that as the best way to gift her, and I don’t feel pressured.”
Because he is alone in Moscow, he takes himself out on solo dates during this day. He enjoys visiting restaurants, depending on what he feels like eating. “It could be an Asian restaurant, an African spot, or any place that matches my mood that day.” Even on his own, he chooses to enjoy the moment, then share it with the girlfriend through video calls.
Living in Moscow has also shown him how others celebrate. “Flowers and chocolates are a big thing here on Valentine’s Day. Restaurants and hotels are usually full, booked earlier with reservations.” Says Clement. He understands that not everyone embraces the celebration, and he believes people should respect different views.
If he had the chance to spend Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend in person, he says he would make it unforgettable. “I would let her choose the best spot and spend every minute with her, buy her flowers, chocolates, gifts and make sure she feels special. I am a gentleman; I know how to treat a lady.”
Until then, his Valentine’s Day is simple, communication, meaningful gifts, and perhaps a quiet solo dinner in Moscow. Like many Kenyans abroad, love for him continues across distance, and hope for the day the miles will finally disappear.
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