I am eagerly waiting for Kuya to blunder...
Kuya’s big words that have translated to nothing on the ground.
The moment Kuya was forcefully installed as the Deputy Headmaster, I knew crazy things were going to happen. This was confirmed when he, within an hour of signing his letter, wrote to the staffroom WhatsApp group promising changes to be announced the next Monday.
He did not even consult me, and I assumed that in his excitement, he had forgotten that he had merely been appointed Deputy HM, reporting to me.
But on Sunday, he wrote a long WhatsApp message to the group inviting all teachers to what he called a Boot Camp. I, at first, thought he wanted to take us for camping until I read that it will be a half-day session in the staffroom.
He had not sought my concurrence. We arrived in school on Monday to find that he had re-arranged the staffroom. On the black board he had written in large letters: 3-Year Strategy: Making Mwisho wa Lami Great Again! Once we were all seated, he started the meeting.
“I first want to start by thanking all of you for the great support following my belated appointment as Deputy HM. I also thank you for your numerous and hearty congratulatory messages following my historic promotion. I hope you all mean well, and that you will work with me, to make Mwisho wa Lami great again.”
He went on: “In order to make this school great again, I hereby invite you to focus, put on your thinking caps on, and let us openly share our ideas on how we can step change this school. To assist us in this strategic directional change, I have come up with magic questions that if we answered well, the journey to Making this school great again will commence today.
He shared the so-called magic questions: What are we doing right, what are we doing wrong? What should this school look like in three years? What must we do for the school to look like we want it to? What support is needed to make all that happen? He then gave us some papers with numbers, which we all picked. The papers had either 1 or 2 and you went to the group based on the paper you picked. I was in group 2 with Anita, Alex, and Sella. He allocated the questions to each group.
“I will be moving around to support you in the conceptual approach to answering the questions,” he said.
I, for sure, can’t remember the questions we had, nor our answers; there was nothing spectacular or new that I had. Mrs Atika’s phone rang, and she walked outside to pick her call.
When she came back, Kuya expressed his displeasure.
“Can I ask that we all put our phones aside and focus for just a few hours? Perhaps I am the only one feeling the pressure, but this school cannot go forward if we can’t focus.”
He moved from group to group supposedly guiding us.
“Each group should appoint one person who will present after tea break. You will have seven minutes to present. Be short and precise and focus on big ticket items and low hanging fruits that we can hit the road running with.”
He stopped immediately, disrupted by a phone that was ringing. It was Alex’s phone. He went to his office and came back with a small basket, then asked everyone to put their phone in the basket.
“We clearly cannot focus with our phones,” he, angrily said, “So, I am taking away all your phones until the end of the boot camp.” I tried to resist but he said that I should been leading by example. He took the phones to his office.
As he returned, Saphire, who had not been in school for two weeks, arrived.
“Where are you from Sir? It is almost 10 am!” Saphire said he was from home. When Kuya asked him why he had arrived late, he said he had a personal matter that he was attending to.
“We all have personal matters to attend to, but we arrive in school on time. Go back where you came from and only come to school if you will keep time.”
“Thank you very much,” Saphire said and left. He seemed happy.
“I want everyone to know that it is going to be Business Unusual,” he said as Saphire left.
After tea break, it was time for presentations. Alex represented us. Kuya challenged, dismissed, or berated everything Alex said.
“Did you people really think through this?” he asked, “And you had an HM in your group?” he wondered. What should have been a sevn-minute presentation took over one hour.
The other group picked Nzomo as the presenter. She was praised in everything she said, with Kuya repeatedly telling us how we should have approached the questions as Group 1 had.
“If we can implement Group 1’s Plans, this school will be far in just a few months. Very good work,” he said and told Nzomo to sit with us and show us the way.
It was about half an hour to lunch.
“Before we break for lunch, I need us to agree on a new vision, mission and motto for the school,” he said. He tried to explain the difference between mission and vision, but he stopped mid-way as he realised that he was unable to tell the difference.
“Thanks Mr Deputy, but what is wrong with our mission, vision and motto?” asked Sella., “Why do you want it changed?”
“It’s not about whether it is wrong or right. It is about if it is fit for purpose in our new strategic dispensation. Are they inspirational enough?”
Unable to continue, he asked that everyone shares their proposed motto in the WhatsApp group. And that we would settle on new ones before end of the week. As at yesterday, no one had sent anything.
“We will go have the last session after lunch,” he said and went to his office. Alex wondered if classes were not important as we had spent the whole day in a meeting.
“This is more important. If we had done this at the beginning of the year, we would not be here,” he answered. He welcomed us to the last session after lunch.
“This will be a simple and open session, we will review what we need to Start, Stop and Continue doing in order to deliver or Mission.”
He divided us into three groups to discuss this. Nothing new was in the presentations just the usual stuff spoken year in year out. He thanked us at the end of the day, saying that the journey for Mwisho wa Lami 2.0 had started.
That was all, from Tuesday, we went back to normal, nothing changed. Having not been consulted as HM, I am just observing, and waiting ready to pounce when things go wrong, and they will soon go.
