Kuya gives Apostle Elkana the boot during KCPE Prayer day

For many years, Apostle Elkana, The Revered Principal Spiritual Superintendent of THOAG (The Holiest of All Ghosts) Tabernacle Assembly, has been the spiritual father of Mwisho wa Lami Primary School, joining us for prayers in good and bad times.

The one occasion he never misses is KCPE Prayer Day when he usually blesses every candidate by applying anointing oil on their heads. We usually pay a lot for this.

For reasons known to himself, Kuya, the new unqualified Deputy HM, has always been opposed to this, but it must be because he is not known to go to any church, in fact, no one knows if he is a Christian, or if he believes in anything, other than himself.

“The prayers from that bearded man have zero help to the exam performance,” he said in January when we opened.

“The only beneficiary of the prayer is the fake apostle whom we pay an arm and a leg.”

“Do not mock God,” Lena, her bad hair in tow, had told him, adding that the Apostle’s prayers were “very important.”

Kuya reminded us that KCPE performance was not so great. I am not saying that it was bad.

“You have no idea what you are talking about,” I told him.

"The students may not have passed as you wanted, but I can tell you without the prayers, it could have been worse.”

“And it’s not only the actual performance that he prays for,” added Mrs Atika.

“So, what else does he pray for?” Kuya had asked.

“For their good health, for their safety, for the examiners to arrive on time, for the papers to arrive in school on time and back to Nairobi safely,” she said.

“Many things could go wrong. Imagine the students answering questions correctly and the vehicle transporting them being involved in an accident, that would be a disaster and those are the things that Apostle Elkana’s prayers help with.”

“My goodness, you people are not serious! I can’t believe what I am hearing!” exclaimed Kuya, adding that if that was the case, we did not need Apostle Elkana.

We forgot about all this and went on with life as normal. There was nothing bad or good in the school over the year requiring prayers, so Apostle Elkana never visited the school.

As usual, he reached out to me two weeks ago, and I knew that he wanted to confirm the date of KCPE prayer day.

To avoid unnecessary conflict with Kuya, I let him handle all school operational issues and I only focused on strategic, high-impact matters like the five-year strategy, getting more teachers for the school and thinking about how to fund the school.

Matters like discipline, school timetables, academics, examinations, national examinations, and relations with stakeholders are operational matters that I let Kuya handle.

So, I referred Apostle Elkana to Kuya. Last Monday, the apostle called me, but I did not pick. Those who know me know that I am not a micromanager. Once I give you an assignment, I let you do it. I did not follow up with Kuya.

We had agreed to have prayer day last Friday, just before rehearsal started. On Thursday evening, Apostle Elkana tried to call me incessantly. I was busy with the school’s strategic matters that I did not pick.

That evening he came to my home. He was clearly angry, for he did not even pray like he always does whenever he visits.

He went straight to the point.

“I always pray for your students before KCPE and you will agree those prayers work.”

I wondered what the matter was.

“I was planning to come pray tomorrow, but I am shocked to hear that I may not be needed, yet my church is the sponsor of your school.”

I stepped aside and called Kuya. He told me had found a pastor who would pray without charging anything.

“Dre, Prayers are prayers,” he added.

I reminded him that Elkana’s church was the sponsor of the school.

“Get serious Dre. What has he done as a sponsor? Did his church donate the land the school sits on? Have they built even a classroom? That is what sponsors do across the country. We are the sponsors of Elkana’s fake church, not the other way round.”

I had no answer.

“He can come to assist the pastor, but it has to be for free.”

Kuya had a point. I came back and told Apostle Elkana he wouldn’t be needed this time; but that he would remain a sponsor to the school. I also asked him to join the prayers.

“Me? To join and spectate as another pastor prays? Never!”

“It is ok, Dre,” he went on. “But what do I do with this anointing oil I had already bought? I spent a lot of money on it.”

I told him he could use it for another purpose, reminding him that I knew he sells anointing oil in small bottles.

“Andrew, you do not understand. This was special anointing oil for passing KCPE! It cannot be used for something else. How do you sell to sick people anointing oil meant for passing exams? It is like taking Actals when you have a headache!”

I told him that there was nothing I could do, as we had not asked the parents to contribute to prayer day.

“The cost of living is high, and we did not want to overburden parents,” I said.

“That is exactly my point,” he said. “Things are tough even for my church. We get nothing as Mwisho wa Lami people give peanuts for sadaka …”

“Andrew, take the anointing oil. I just want the money I used on the oil; I will not charge anything extra.”

I stood my ground. He left.

Friday went well. Kuya had gotten a pastor from a nearby Anglican Church who ran a simple prayer service devoid of drama and fanfare. He left after prayers, did not eat nor did he ask for any payment.

That evening Apostle Elkana sent me a message.

“KCPE is too serious to trust a young man who is still trying to understand God. I fear something will go wrong, but I want you to know that the anointing oil is still available, and I am ready to come bless the students before KCPE starts so that we can stop this bad thing that is about to happen.”

I did not respond to him. 

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