Premium
Rekindle your love ... say it out loud!
Feeling appreciated is one of our deepest human needs.
When you were first married you talked all the time. But nowadays you’re just too tired. You work hard all day and get stressed, so once you get home, you just want to relax. And be quiet. So maybe you slip in without even saying hello to your spouse. That’s understandable, but it’s chipping away at your relationship.
You’re probably also not saying “I love you” as much as you should. You used to say it all the time, but now it takes second place to your WhatsApp messages and social media. They may feel important, but what you are really doing is neglecting your spouse. Soon they’re feeling lonely and unloved, and wondering what’s going wrong with their marriage.
So start saying “I love you” more often. It’s all too easy to forget to say those simple words, but if you don’t say them often enough, then your partner will start asking themselves whether the love you used to share is still there. So, look your partner in the eye and say “I love you” like you mean it, whenever you have the slightest excuse.
Give them lots of compliments, so that they know that you admire and appreciate them. Feeling appreciated is one of our deepest human needs, so even the smallest compliments are really valued. And back off the negative or critical comments, because they cut deep and aren’t easily forgotten.
Make a habit of having a cup of tea as soon as you’re both home together, and tell each other all about your day. Just a five minute chat will reconnect you emotionally after spending the day apart, and really improve your evening.
When you were first together you spent a lot of time reconnecting with each other every night and morning. But gradually those moments spent kissing and cuddling faded away. Bring them back, and add in some more.
And say what you need in your relationship, because you really do need to tell your other half what you want from them. Say it out loud, because hints are almost always missed. And no-one can read your mind. So speak up. You want to make love? Say so out loud!
Tell your partner whenever they hurt your feelings. Because even though that conversation can be hard to start, you need to say how their behaviour is affecting you. Keeping your hurt feelings bottled up will eventually lead to a really nasty outburst.
Do either of you have a hard time saying sorry? There’s nothing more frustrating than living with someone who won’t own up to their mistakes. So if no-one’s saying sorry, the chances are that one of you is building up some serious resentment.
Spend a little time before bedtime each day planning and reminiscing. Revisit the moment you both knew you were falling in love. Talk about things you want to do together.
Do all these and your relationship will get deeper and more secure.
