There’s critical need for fathers to be virtuous

Monogamy’s rare wherever land is plentiful, or its ownership’s vague, and where women till the land with hoes. It develops wherever land is farmed using ploughs, by men, or the society is urbanising, health improving, and a modern economy developing.

Largely that’s because monogamy has a lot going for it in a developed economy, despite all the cheating. Because investing more of your time and income in fewer children ensures that they have a much better chance of being successful as adults.

And that’s not just about material possessions. Or the children’s health and education. The close relationships that develop in small, trusting families provide very important psychological benefits.

For example, parents who have chosen to be monogamous provide role models that teach their children good values: such as trustworthiness, honesty and kindness. They teach them how to control their impulses, to work hard, and to believe in their own abilities.

LEARNING BY EXAMPLE

They develop their children’s interests and even their intelligence. Kids also seem to be happiest when their parents have a close, loving relationship with one another.

When their parents are affectionate and interested in each other, able to resolve the inevitable conflicts  and always put themselves first within the family. Kids seem to be reassured when their parents spend time together and they’re not allowed to interrupt.

But you can’t simply tell your children what to do, because they watch you  and instantly spot whether what you say is different from what you do. It’s not what you tell them that influences your children, it’s what you do.

And especially what their father does.

Despite all the bad publicity that men tend to get these days, it really does help children to have their father around. Men do deserve much of that reputation, of course. After all, it’s men who commit most of the crime in society, drink too much, fight, cause a lot of car accidents, and treat women badly...

And yet, the contribution of men to the family is very important.

It seems that fathering and mothering are two different parenting styles  and kids need both. And a good father shows his children what being a man is all about.

Because both boys and girls use their fathers’ behaviour as a role model on which they base their behaviour and expectations as adults.

So children need to see their father competing hard, succeeding among men, being trustworthy, loving his wife and being firm but affectionate with his family.

A man who does all that will have a good life, and a very good marriage. And so, in their turn, will his children!