There’s a lot of work involved in every long-term relationship. For instance, do you remember how Michelle Obama once confessed that there were times when she couldn’t stand her husband?
So what are the secrets of long-term happy couples?
Successful couples know that it’s normal to fight. Sometimes for hours! So just know that there’ll be times when you’re so mad with one another you’ll end up going to bed angry. Just remember that you’ll be calmer and more adult in the morning and can apologise then. And figure out how to make up and feel close again.
Successful couples recognise what they can’t change in each other and live with it, while not meekly putting up with the things that can be improved.
Because disappointment and arguing is how you develop a better understanding of one another and grow your relationship. Conflict doesn’t get in the way of intimacy, it is intimacy.
Learn to tell the truth to one another, and not to let grudges fester. Because the only way to get what you want is to explain how you feel. Happiness in a long-term relationship means identifying what you need, standing up for it and negotiating hard to get it.
Happy couples know when they’re getting enough in their relationship to balance out what they’re not getting, so come to terms with what your partner can and can’t give you and let it go. Don’t be a resentful victim, and instead embrace all the good stuff in your marriage and enjoy it.
Don’t give up on your appearance. Successful couples don’t just want companionship, they want real passion and great sex all their lives. Just know that if you want to have a lifelong lover, you have to be one too. Which means staying frisky and looking good!
Successful couples find lots of light-hearted things to do together and take having fun seriously. Play is creative, and you can’t stay angry with a partner who’s trying to make you laugh. Happy couples stay curious about each other. You don’t always know what your partner is going to say or how they feel about everything. So ask. Chances are you’ll be surprised.
It doesn’t really matter who is right. Some couples have arguments that last 30 years, but you can be right, or you can be happily married. Which is more important?
Above all, understand the importance of showing physical affection. Some people are more tactile than others, but showing physical affection is always important in a long-term relationship. Which means that even if you personally don’t really want to be cuddled all that much, you need to pay attention to your partner’s needs. Because being physically close is vital for your relationship.
So even if you don’t want to have sex right now, it’s still a good idea to be intimate and sensual together, after all, if you’re not getting pleasure from each other, why are you together at all?
