My one regret as someone living boldly with a stammer

One such journey belongs to Dennis Nderitu. Born and raised in Giakanja, Nyeri County, Dennis has navigated both the highs and lows of life with a stammer.

Dennis recalls how early school life was challenging.

“When teachers would call the register, I’d freeze. Responding with just a simple ‘present’ took so much effort,” he says.

His classmates often laughed, a reaction that left a lasting impression on young Dennis, shaping his perception of himself and his speech. In high school, however, he found acceptance among fellow stammerers, which allowed him to open up.

"When I was joining high school, I was afraid that my classmates would make fun of me. I feared that people would say that I did not know how to speak. Then I met more students who were stammerers and I came to find out that it is a normal thing and I was able to blend in well. They accepted me as I was, which made me feel like I belonged,” the 25-year-old says.

University was a turning point, but not in the way Dennis had hoped.

“My regret is that at the university I developed fear, and I was afraid of people judging me. Therefore, I barely spoke to anyone or even in class. I spent my four years on campus without a school ID because I was afraid that the people there would judge me for not being able to speak fluently,” the graduate of Biomedical Sciences from Egerton University says.

He missed many of the social interactions vital to college life as he navigated through university in self-imposed silence. But it was in his final year that he gained a significant insight. “When I presented my final year project, I informed my lecturer about my stammering, and my classmates were supportive. I realised then that people are often more understanding than we think.”

Dennis’ experiences with his stammer have taught him to plan meticulously and to explain himself whenever he gets into a room, especially in public settings.

“When I use public transportation, I carry the exact fare to avoid asking for change. I once had an incident where I sent money to the wrong phone number, and I tried to explain to the conductor, but he didn’t have the patience to listen to me,” Mr Nderitu says, “For my shopping, I can only go to places where I’m understood so that I don’t face any ridicule.”

His stammer has even impacted his phone habits, as calls tend to take longer, and he often prefers texting to avoid misinterpretations or impatience from the listener. “Normally, in a call, I spend a lot more on airtime than other people because I talk much longer and some people tend to be impatient when I am stammering.”

Dating life

When it comes to dating, Dennis’ stammer hasn’t been an issue. “I’ve never been rejected because of it. We may break up for other reasons, but not because of my stammer,” he laughs.

Accepting his stammering may have been easier for Dennis’ family because his father and younger brother also share the same condition. “This familial connection has made me more accepting of my stammer. I would not panic even if I got a child with a stammer. What I would do differently is to get them a speech therapist at a young age,” he says.

Today, Dennis finds encouragement in a support group, Stammerers Kenya. “We meet every third Wednesday of the month. Seeing others, some married and running successful businesses gives me hope that I can also make it,” he says, adding, “In these gatherings, speech therapists provide tips, teaching techniques like slow breathing and paced speech to manage stammering. These sessions are helping me reduce my stammer and handle it better.”

Yet, challenges remain. “In some offices, I have encountered impatience and many people tend to assume that I am drunk. I once went to drop my CV at an office, and the secretary left me standing there when I took too long to explain myself,” Mr Nderitu, who is yet to secure employment says.

However, Dennis has found that self-acceptance is key. “There was a time I felt very inferior, but I’ve learned to embrace my stammer. If I could go back in time, I’d be more open and interact with people more.”

Dennis and I tried an experiment to see how his stammer varied across different languages. I note that his stammer was most prominent when he spoke in Kikuyu, his mother tongue. Speaking in Kiswahili, brought a noticeable reduction in the stammer, while in English, it was almost undetectable.

Dennis dreams of running his own business someday.

From a therapist’s perspective

Dennis’s story highlights the importance of early intervention. Asaph Mwangi, a speech and language therapist, explains, “Stammering is often genetic but can also be acquired through trauma or neurological issues. Early intervention is crucial, especially if a family history exists.”

Mr Mwangi emphasizes that stammering is a condition and not a disease.

“Every child has a fluency disorder or stammering as they learn how to speak. For most of them, this disappears before the sixth birthday. We start to get worried if, after their sixth birthday, the child still has the stammer,” he said. Mr Mwangi adds that stammering only impacts speech fluency, not a person’s intelligence.

Treatment

He adds that any person can recover from the stammering with good therapy, even the ones who continue to stammer. “Therapists work to help them stammer with dignity and equip them with techniques to live confidently, even if the stammer persists.”

Treatment of stammering is dependent on the cause of the stammer. “If it’s a traumatic experience and the person goes for psychotherapy, there is a high chance of them getting better. A person who gets a stammer following a neurological disorder caused by an accident or a disease is likely to get better once they heal. With people born with a stammer, therapy can help them,” he says.

[email protected]