Do you remember the things you believed in your teens? You probably had some very odd ideas, as anyone who’s raising a teenager now will tell you. The problem is that those youthful ideas guide our thoughts right through into our thirties. And they’re so wrong that finally getting them out of our systems is one of the great milestones in our lives.
For instance, teens think that success is easy. And imagine they can become rich and famous without making any real effort.
Teens think they’re mature, special, and way better than their parents. Who they think wrecked the whole world for them. They didn’t of course, but it is years before young people appreciate just how complex adult life really is.
Teens think they can plan their lives. But real life is actually more like a series of chance events and unintended consequences.
They have all sorts of crazy ideas that lead them into endless trouble. Like ‘she’ll look after the birth control.’ Or ‘if I love my boyfriend enough, he’ll stop messing around.’ And they think they’re way better drivers than anyone else!
Teens think that going to college is the most important thing in the world. And that the top students there will have the most successful lives. But that’s not true, because the world of work demands a completely different set of skills from those you need in college. Teens also imagine that the students with the best qualifications will get the highest salaries. But in practice they don’t, because real work experience and networking’s much more valuable than a degree.
Teens think winners achieve everything on their own. But actually, almost every worthwhile human achievement’ is a team effort. Think of building bridges and roads. Which is why social skills are just as important as intelligence and technical knowledge at work.
Teens think that finding the right answer always leads to success. But figuring out how to implement an idea is actually far more difficult than having the idea in the first place. And who’s idea it is matters far more than what it is, especially if they have money, position and power.
Teens think that getting rejected is the worst thing in the world. It really isn’t. Adults use failure to teach them how to do things better next time. And anyway, not everyone will like you, no matter how hard you try.
Teens think they’ll be satisfied by a big salary. But no-one ever is, however much they earn. And yet our income and possessions mean nothing in the end. Because what really matters are the people you love. So make enough time in your life for them.
Above all, how you started out doesn’t decide how you’ll end up in life. Even your intelligence is something that you can work on! So be braver. Say ‘I love you’ far more often. Speak your mind. Face up to conflicts. Forgive quickly. And laugh about all those teenage dreams you had!
