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I’m a married mom, earns Sh36,000 salary, gets Sh15,000 wife allowance, but have nothing to show for it

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With a clear plan, discipline, and small consistent steps, you can take control of your finances.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

My name is Susan. I am married with two kids aged 2 and 7. I live and work in Nairobi. My net salary is Sh36,400. I get a wife allowance of Sh15,000 from my husband.

My expenses are as follows: dad Sh5,000, mom Sh2,000, cooking gas Sh3,000, power and water Sh4,000, housegirl Sh10,000, merry-go-round Sh3,000, hair and nails Sh5,000, clothes (mainly impulse buying) Sh5,000 to Sh10,000. Fare Sh2,000 (varies because my husband occasionally picks and drops me at work on his way to work), lunch/coffee/snacks Sh3,000 to Sh4,000, airtime Sh1,500, home internet Sh4,000.

My problem is that I am constantly broke and blowing my budget over. I can’t seem to help it. Sometimes, I have to ask my husband for extra money. I have a job but I have nothing I have achieved personally to show for it. I have nothing outside of the financial security provided by my husband.

I want to own something from my sweat. I want to surprise my husband by acquiring a plot or even a car this year. I want to show that I am more than just a pampered wife. How do I do this? How do I plan my money better? How do I save, invest and achieve my goals?

Muthoni Njakwe, accountant and the author of personal finance book ‘Her Shilling, Her Power: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Freedom’. 

First, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel frustrated or stuck with money right now. The fact that you recognise the problem and want to take control already puts you ahead of many people who never even try. You are capable, hardworking, and deserving of financial independence. With a clear plan, discipline, and small consistent steps, you can take control of your finances, build savings, and start owning assets in your name.

An assessment of your current financial situation. Your total earnings amount to Sh51,400 each month - your salary of Sh36,400 plus the Sh15,000 allowance you get from your husband. Your current total expenses are roughly Sh50,000–57,000. The majority of your income is eaten up by fixed obligations, which leaves you with very little room for saving.

At the same time, your expenditure on personal things, especially on impulse buying of clothes, is uncontrolled. On top of that, no money is specifically assigned to your own goals or future assets, which is why you feel stuck, dependent, and unable to see progress despite working hard every month.

To move forward, you need to create a clear plan for your money and give every shilling a purpose. Assigning your income intentionally, controlling unnecessary spending, and saving consistently are the first steps toward taking control and building personal wealth. Once you understand exactly where your money is going, you can start making decisions that grow your savings, your assets, and your financial independence.

Step 1: Structure your income and expenses

The first step to taking control of your money is to know exactly how much you earn and where it goes. Now that you know your total earnings, categorise your expenses into three main groups: fixed obligations, personal spending, and savings or future goals. Fixed obligations include things like supporting your parents, paying your house help, utility bills, and internet - basically, all the expenses you must pay every month.

Personal spending covers lunch, snacks, transport, airtime, hair, nails, and especially impulse purchases like clothes. This is where you need to make major adjustments. Savings or future goals are the portion of your income you set aside to grow your own assets, like a plot, a car, or a dedicated emergency fund.

Then, allocate your income intentionally. Decide how much goes to each category and stick to it. For fixed expenditures, you may not be able to make many adjustments since these are necessary payments like bills, family support, and household needs. For personal spending, set a clear monthly allowance, and once it’s gone, don’t top it up. For impulse spending, adopt the 72-hour rule. Before buying anything that isn’t essential, wait three days.

During that time, ask yourself: “Do I really need this? Will this bring me closer to owning something in my name?” Often, you’ll realise the answer is no, and the urge to buy fades.

The most important part is paying yourself first. Decide on a fixed amount to save every month, even if it’s small, and put it into a dedicated account or a safe investment in your name. Treat this money as non-negotiable - this is your path to owning assets, building wealth, and creating financial independence.

Financial independence means you will have to sacrifice and change habits, but the goal is simple: intentionally give every shilling a purpose. That way, you will no longer spend randomly or wonder why you have nothing left at the end of the month. Structuring your income this way gives you clarity, control, and the ability to start building your own wealth, one consistent step at a time.

Step 2: Set one goal at a time and save intentionally

Susan, pick one financial goal to focus on at a time. If your first goal is buying a plot, commit to it fully. Write it down and place it somewhere you can see every day; reminds you why you are saving and keeps you motivated when temptations arise.

Start by researching secure, affordable land options in areas within your budget. Break down the total cost into monthly savings targets, and make sure your goal fits your timeline - whether it’s 6 months, a year, or longer. Open a high-yield savings account, Money Market Fund, or a dedicated investment in your name, so your money grows safely while staying separate from daily spending.

As your savings accumulate, plan your purchase: pay a deposit first, or buy a smaller plot and expand over time.

If your first goal is buying a car, the approach is similar. Decide whether you want to pay cash or a deposit. Calculate the total cost, set a realistic monthly savings target, and open a dedicated account for your car fund. Avoid borrowing unnecessarily, even if the timeline is longer, paying cash or a large deposit will save you from debt and give you full ownership immediately.

Step 3: Track, adjust, and grow

After setting your goal and saving intentionally, the next step is to track your progress, make adjustments, and keep growing your wealth. Review your income, expenses, and savings at least once a month. Ask yourself: “Am I still sticking to my budget? Am I saving enough? Are there areas I can adjust to save more?”

Tracking your finances helps you see what’s working and what isn’t, so you can make smarter decisions. If personal spending starts creeping up or a new expense appears, adjust your budget immediately. Continue using dedicated accounts or safe investments so your money grows while staying protected. As you reach each goal, set the next one. Over time, this will help you build good habits, own real assets, and grow your money, turning your hard work into true financial independence.

Susan, taking control of your money and owning something in your name is possible. Each step brings you closer to financial independence. Be consistent, stay disciplined, and celebrate small wins. Over time, your hard work will pay off, and you will have something real that belongs to you. You are capable, and you deserve to see the results of your own effort.

If you have any money problems, send us an email at [email protected] and leave your number for contact. Money questions will be answered on this column