I'm suffering at work because a colleague constantly takes time off. I'm the one who gets it in the neck from our boss when she calls in sick. Our boss makes sarcastic comments about "your friend letting us down again".
Yes, we are friends, but how is it my fault when she's not there? I'm also the one who suffers because I get burdened with her work. She's a lazy individual with no conscience or work ethic, yet I don't want her to think that I've been disloyal. How do I remedy the situation with her and the boss?
There comes a time in life when we need to make hard decisions for the sake of our peace. You either should continue to suffer silently or decide to call a spade a spade by telling your friend of your uneasiness to their attitude towards work.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa, Kitale
You don't need friends who are lazy, abscond work and eventually, you are burdened with their work. Close that chapter of friendship. Advise your boss to hire someone who can work and doesn't abscond her duties. On the other hand, your boss has a problem. He should have taken the necessary action on this friend of yours.
When it comes to working, you should put friendships aside and focus on your performance because at the end of the day, we are not going to eat the friendship but the income that comes from the job.
If you waste your time and energy on being angry or annoyed about your lazy colleague, your work performance may start slipping and you may be less pleasant to be around. A hostile colleague is just as bad as a lazy one. So it's either you do something or zip up.
Don't pick up the work that your friend is not doing. Remind them of tasks and deadlines, but don't let babysitting your lazy colleague consume too much of your valuable time. A lazy colleague can hinder your progress. If your boss notices work isn't getting done, don't let the blame fall on you. This is your opportunity to speak up if you haven't done so already.
You need to work out the difference between a colleague and a friend. Maybe you are friendly, nine-to-five, but you don't owe her anything beyond that. If she constantly ducks out of work and leaves everyone else to pick up the pieces, that's not your problem. Your boss needs to speak to her about her health, her attitude, and her future. Ask him for an urgent meeting. Emphasise she is not your problem and you're as annoyed as he is. Forget about being disloyal – you're way beyond that.
Do not mix your friendship and work. I am sure your contracts do not account for any relations you may have with any other person. If you are truly friends, you will make it clear to your friend that she is affecting your working conditions. You cannot have it both ways. You cannot suffer while attempting to maintain your loyalty and still complain. That is not practical. Your first task is to tell your colleague that things must change. If that does not make a difference, then you will need to alert the human resource or your immediate boss about the issue. You need to protect your work and sanity before putting others first.
Relationship counselor, Maurice Matheka
Hello, I am Lucy and 33. Four months ago I met a man on social media, and we speak at least once a day. It sounds quite ridiculous for me to say this, but we have fallen in love, even though we are both married to other people. He has three young children and I have two. Luckily he lives in another country, otherwise, I would have been tempted to meet up and embark on an affair.
My husband and I just don't communicate anymore, and every time I speak with this other extremely attentive man, who makes me feel wanted and desirable, it reinforces how bad my marriage has become.
I know what I'm doing is wrong, as I do still have some feelings for my husband, plus I worry about messing up my children future if I was to embark on a new relationship, but I am struggling to give up the excitement I feel for my social media man.
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