Seeing double. The secret lives of twins

We have heard stories of twins (especially identical ones), dying at the same time, or facing the same tragic end. "Are twins driven by nature or nurture?" researchers have probed endlessly. "Can they read each other minds or do they have a secret language?" theorists have asked. 

Recently, we were catapulted into the lives of the Kakamega identical twins' saga, Melon Lutenyo and Sharon Mathias who were switched at birth and raised separately only to be reunited as teenagers. Through the disruptions, the twins and their sister Melvis Imbaya (raised as a fraternal twin to Melon), captured our attention as we all wondered if their personalities had shifted from being raised in different environments. As it stands, the jury is still out there, and only time will tell. 

But where does the mythology on twins end and the truth begin?

As we celebrate the annual National Twins day on the 8th of August we talked to several twins, to debunk the myths and explain the even more fascinating facts about twins and their relationship to one another.

Identical twins Eunice Waithera and Margaret Wambui. The 46-year-old identical twins from Nairobi have maintained a strong bond over the years. Eunice is a singer while her twin sister Margaret is a full-time church minister

Wambui says:

"We have shared a special bond since childhood that we didn't have with our three siblings. My mother told us that my sister Eunice entered the world first in five minutes. Throughout her pregnancy, our mother was unaware that she was having twins, but upon delivery, she accepted us and was quite pleased. 

We are constantly reminded by our family members that at about the age of two, we shared a bond that was oftentimes unexplainable. In school, we sat together, attended functions together, and always defended one another. Amazingly, we have an enhanced emotional connection such that we always discern when one of us is in crisis. We both have an easy laugh and are very outgoing and we both make similar friends. Our mother was very religious and so we had a very strict religious upbringing. We were introduced to the church at a tender age and faith remains a significant part of our lives. We have developed similar interests such as singing and cooking together." 

Waithera says:

"My sister is my best friend and confidant. We hold similar religious beliefs and values and these strengthen our friendship more. When we are apart, we find ourselves doing similar things like dressing alike and having a similar dress sense. 

Surprisingly, many confuse us on the phone as we have similar voices. We have had instances of mistaken identity for instance, when signing documents in the banks or when emceeing at weddings. We now dress differently to differentiate our individuality. Our bodies are also in tune. My sister was diagnosed with diabetes seven years ago which I was later also diagnosed with. For the last two years, we have been going to the same clinic and receiving medication. The pandemic has reshaped our relationship in an unprecedented way, forcing us to live closer. We strive to meet at least for one hour every day. Social distancing has isolated us from our friends and wider communities but we support each other emotionally and financially. The high-pressure environment of confinement, combined with the financial stress brought by the burdened economy, has led us to be creative in singing and emceeing together on wedding occasions. We are still single and hope that one day we will get God-fearing spouses. We both believe in abstinence."

Fraternal twins, 24, Judith Munuve and Daniel Munuve from Kibera. Daniel is single and a Data Analyst while her twin sister is married and a caterer in Juja

Daniel says:

"I am graduate from Kabianga University with a degree in Statistics and Computing. 

I am forever grateful for having a twin sister whose immense support has been immeasurable. Growing up in Kibera was tough and at a tender age, we embraced education as the key element to a better future. With this, we teamed up in revising and doing homework. We would wake up very early to read and then start preparing for school. We would walk to and from school together, and help with the house chores. We have had a strong bond since childhood. We would play together and share mutual friends. I remember neighbours used to admire us while growing up as we were often together and dressed alike. We communicate often even when we are miles away from each other."

Judith says:

"I love my brother so much. When I see him, I see myself. We think alike and are always determined to achieve our dreams no matter the challenge. We are emotionally connected such that, I can discern when he is not okay. There is no doubt that the pandemic has had a substantial impact on our lives. Initially, it was very difficult to adapt to the government restrictions to curb the diseases as that meant that we would not meet often. The pandemic forced us to keep our distance from each other and as a result, we experienced feelings of loneliness. 

For us, the ability to maintain regular contact with each other via video calls has provided a lifeline. There are times when loneliness peaks and we want to be close, but we are always aware that life demands pursue our dreams. Being a twin is interesting as we are assured of mutual friendship and support." 

Ann Nairesie, a mother-of-one works as a temporary IEBC registrar voter while her twin sister Ruth Kaise, also a mother-of-one works in a cybercafé. The 27-year-old identical twins from Kajiado went to Moi Girls, Isinye Secondary school and later joined Moi University to pursue a degree in Bachelor of Arts

Ann says:

"We are very compatible, from what we love, hate, interests, and our values. While in primary school, teachers were amazed at how we would think the same on different subjects. We always feel each other's pain even when we are miles away. 

As identical twins raised together we have the same characteristics, harbour the same memories, and are of equal intelligence. In a way, we tend to think the same way, and given that we are a copycat of each other, my boyfriend could not differentiate us in the early stages of dating. 

However, we have different personalities which makes it easy for people to differentiate us. For instance, my sister is very reserved while am very outgoing. I make friends easily and over years, we have shared mutual friends. 

We have developed a secret language that we use and no one can understand. For instance, when not happy, we communicate with our body posture and no one else would comprehend what we are saying. Amazingly, we have a non-twin personality when we are apart and a twin personality when we are together. Despite the negatives of being lonely during the pandemic, we have enjoyed mutual love, support, and understanding. 

We feel we have changed as we get older. Ruth was always quiet and would withdraw from people in social gatherings. However, with time, my friends have been hers and this makes her life easy and fun. Life experiences have made us wiser and more understanding on our personality differences and we always protect each other shortcomings."

Ruth says: 

"While in primary school, we would memorise the same numbers and our academic performance would be the same. What baffled the teachers in primary school was our composition and Insha (Swahili Composition) writing skills. We would write similar headlines and use the same analogies. We worked really hard and achieved impressive results. We later joined the same high school, despite having chosen different institutions. Surprisingly, we attained the same KCSE grade score. 

We are inseparable and I recall a time in primary school when we were put in different streams and shockingly we fell ill at the same time. The teachers had to quickly reunite us and the recovery was remarkable. With adulthood, we have had to adjust to leading separate lives. Last year, I started searching for greener pastures and I moved to Kajiado town leaving my sister in the village. Since childhood, we have always felt like we are in our own movie. We read, cooked, and cleaned together. It has been wholesome and perfect. We have had a lot of time to think, talk, and be with each other and this has made us wiser, stronger, and better.

The Coronavirus pandemic brought out the worst in us. First, there is the minimum distance to be kept from each other and that means, I cannot hug my sister when we meet. Being away from home has increased uncertainty and anxiety about how my sister is coping with the disease. There are moments I have felt like quitting my job and going back to the village, but I have embraced the available job opportunity to enrich my future. We have had to embrace social media platforms such as Whatsapp and Facebook to maintain a constant bond.

The uncertain times have also given me time for reflection. "How much of our lives as twins is shaped by our upbringing, genes, or the fact that we are destined to never leave each other?" I have pondered. 

There are many times we have been lonely especially at this time, but we have embraced prayers and reading the bible together. The pandemic has taught us the importance of supporting each other through thick and thin and maintaining strong communication." 

SIDEBAR

Some fun facts about twins

According to recent reports, the birth rate for twins has increased a whopping 76 percent since 1980.

Did you know that….

1. 40 percent of twins invent their own languages.

2. Identical twins have different fingerprints.

3. Twins can have completely different skin tones.

4. Twins start interacting in the womb at 14 weeks.

5. Identical twins can develop different diseases.

6. Twins can have different dads.

7. Once you have one set of non-identical twins, you are 3-4 times more likely to have another set.

8. Nigeria has the highest rate of multiple births and the most identical twins.

9. China has the lowest rate.

10. Twins can have different birthdays (the longest gap is 63 days).

11. Identical twins have DNA that is 99.9 percent the same. They also have almost nearly identical brain wave patterns.

12. Mothers of twins live longer.

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