Isn’t interesting how the entire concept of relationship has changed? Gone are the days when you were either single, married, separated or divorced. Now, you can easily find yourself anywhere from being in a polyandry relationship to a kinky one.
A few months ago, gender rights activists in South Africa petitioned the government to legalise polyandrous unions, where women can legally marry more than one husband. If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, they wondered why the string of equality and choice can’t be extended to women.
But, this is not the title that individuals across the world are seeking to identify themselves with. Here are other romantic relationships you need to know about in 2021 because chances are that someone will interest you with one.
It’s not uncommon nowadays for people to enter into open relationships. In open relationships, the partners reserve emotional love for themselves but allow each other to have sexual activities with other individuals. The two can have rules about the number of people to have these sexual contacts with. A classic example of open relationship are swingers- people who engage in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
Abbreviated as RA (relationship anarchy) this is a type of relationship that rejects any rules or expectations from external parties other than that of the two involved. Relationship anarchists form relationships based on wants, needs and desires rather than the socially mandated expectations. However, this does not mean that these arrangements are a chaotic state of order. In fact, they can be more orderly than the rest because parties set boundaries, communicate and spend time together out of choice rather than expectations.
An old adage goes, “you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince” but in exclusive relationships, this is out of question. In this type of arrangement, you cannot date more than one person at the same time.
If you watched 50 shades of grey, you might have an idea of what these type of relationship this is. One aspect of it is BDSM which stands for bondage, dominance, submission and Masochism. A practitioner of BDSM here in Nairobi who chose anonymity however argues that the portrayal of BDSM in many movies and mainstream pop culture is wrong. “When I introduce the subject to my dates, the reaction I get is fear and many times, anger. “Like, how dare you ask me to do that?” but this is because many people have got it wrong. In my case, it makes me feel cherished, free and has helped me deal with past trauma,” she offers.
Enter the classic one and done relationship. Within a monogamous relationship, two people agree to commit exclusively to one another, both romantically, emotionally and sexually.
This might sound pretty self-explanatory and cliché because almost all of us have experienced it. However, this term now also refers to couples who choose to be together but live independently. While in the past it has been dictated by factors such as work commitments, a growing number of people are choosing this type of arrangement because they don’t want to lose their independence or leave their apartments. Yes, that counts too.
With this, both partners aren’t looking for a long-term commitment and are just there for the fun and to experience companionship. This type of relationship is becoming popular among travellers when visiting different countries. The main challenge with JFN’ship is that it can get complicated if one partner develops deep feelings for the other or there’s no clear communication of the boundaries.
These are people with multiple, loving, intentional and intimate relationships at the same time. The partner is aware of the other relationships. There are different types of polyamory. For instance, solo polyamory includes people who don't have primary partnerships but date multiple people. These individuals remain mostly independent in their personal lives.Polyfidelity refers to a group of three or more people who have a committed relationship with one another and do not date outside of the group. Hierarchical polyamory means people who have primary partners that they give most time and attention then there are secondary and tertiary partnerships who receive less of this. Egalitarian polyamory refers to an arrangement whereby there’s no primary or tertiary partner. All of them receive the same attention.
This is a type of relationship where one person is the caretaker of the other. For instance, if you are dating an alcoholic, you might find yourself in a situation where your partner is dependent on you to drive them after drinking themselves into a stupor.
According to Esther Karimi, a Meru based counsellor, this type of relationship is not healthy for any of the partners. “If one of them is an addict, this co-dependency relationship becomes an enabler to the behaviour.”
