The shoemaker's daughter, the TV reporter, and the strongman's wife: Inside Obasanjo's secret affairs

Oluremi Esther Akinlawon grew up in the Owu quarter of Abeokuta in Ogun State, Southwestern Nigeria. She was the daughter of a railway station master and a participant in the Owu Baptist Church Choir. In 1955, at age 14, she met a barefoot, penniless desk washer named Olusegun Obasanjo at Owu Baptist Church. He was from Ibogun-Olagun village and the son of a Yoruba palm wine tapper named Amos Adigun.

Obasanjo's unwavering confidence despite his poverty intrigued Oluremi and sparked an eight-year courtship. Four years after their first meeting, Obasanjo was recruited into Nigeria's Fifth Battalion and sent to the Democratic Republic of Congo as part of a UN peacekeeping mission. In February 1961, he was captured in Kivu by soldiers who had mutinied against President Patrice Lumumba. After regaining his freedom, he returned to Nigeria.

The following year, Obasanjo moved to England to study officer training at the Mons Training Cadet School and military engineering at the Royal College of Military Engineering in Chatham, Kent. He persuaded Oluremi to join him in England and enrolled her in a training course in institutional management in London.

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On June 22, 1963, when Oluremi was 21, she and Obasanjo married at the Camberwell Green Registry in London. On April 27, 1967, after relocating to Ibadan, Nigeria, she delivered her first child, Iyabo.

As she pursued her career while managing the challenges of motherhood, she noticed a disturbing change in Obasanjo. His demeanour shifted from that of a considerate husband to a violent and confrontational abuser.

The verbal and physical abuse began in October 1968, barely a month after the arrival of their second child, Busola. On that particular day, an officer's wife had delivered a baby, and Oluremi left her Ibadan residence to attend the naming ceremony when an exquisitely dressed, attractive woman flagged down her vehicle. She introduced herself as a late military officer's widow and requested to see Obasanjo.

Oluremi, who had left her new-born daughter Busola under the care of her nanny Kemi, naively entrusted the woman to Kemi's care. Upon her return, the nanny recounted how Obasanjo had arrived, kissed the visitor passionately, and led her upstairs before driving off with her. When Oluremi confronted Obasanjo about the affair, he silenced her with a barrage of slaps and insults.

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She later discovered Obasanjo's romantic entanglement with a wealthy, older, married woman named Mowo Sofowora when she eavesdropped on a 30-minute intimate telephone conversation between the two.

The family driver, who was privy to the affair, eventually disclosed to Oluremi that whenever she travelled to Lagos, Obasanjo did not sleep in their marital bed in Ibadan but instead met Mowo at the opulent Ikoyi Hotel. Mowo subsequently blackmailed Obasanjo, threatening that his finances could be liquidated if he terminated their intimacy.

On one regrettable evening when Oluremi was at Ibadan Hospital undergoing a maternity examination, Mowo abruptly appeared with Oluremi's two children, Busola and Segun, in hand. Oluremi instinctively lunged at Mowo with slaps and punches, causing a rage-filled spectacle in the maternity wing.

Oluremi describes Obasanjo's numerous mistresses as his "stable of ponies." Whenever she confronted him about an affair, he countered with denial and gas lighting to divert attention from his promiscuous behaviour.

In her memoir Bitter Sweet: My Life with Obasanjo, she depicts him as a callous husband, a violent and unrepentant wife beater, and a philandering master of deception. She further articulates how Obasanjo had a proclivity for sexual fetishes and engaged in numerous affairs with single and married women, siring multiple children out of wedlock.

His promiscuity knew no boundaries. Oluremi discovered that Obasanjo was secretly having an affair with Akinsanya's daughter. Akinsanya was a popular shoemaker and a family friend stationed next to the Baptist Church in the Salvation Army area of Ibadan. Obasanjo fathered two children with his daughter during their covert relationship.

Ms Sodeinde, a family friend who often visited Oluremi from Kaduna, mentioned in confidence that Obasanjo was sleeping with multiple military officers' wives.

During a thanksgiving service in Port Harcourt, Oluremi watched in profound discomfort while Gold Oruh, a reporter for the Nigerian Television Authority, kissed Obasanjo on the cheek. In a heart-wrenching revelation, Oluremi learned that the two had a clandestine love affair and Gold had borne children for Obasanjo.

Another high-profile affair Obasanjo had was with Maryam Abacha, the wife of Nigerian military strongman Sani Abacha. Abacha would later detain Obasanjo on trumped-up treason charges.

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Exhausted by Obasanjo's infidelity and physical abuse, Oluremi had a heated verbal exchange with one of Obasanjo's mistresses in 1975. Enraged, Obasanjo pounced on Oluremi and began punching and cursing her. When she saw him reach for a knife, she fled from her marital home. Obasanjo pursued her with the knife in hand. As she sped across the road, her son Gbenga, terrified for his mother's safety, ran after them and was nearly hit by a speeding car.

Oluremi left her marital home after that incident and did not return until 1982. She confided in Nigeria's then military dictator, Brigadier Murtala Muhammed, who reprimanded Obasanjo for his tyrannical treatment of his wife.

Obasanjo responded by grabbing Muhammed by the collar and challenging him to a fist fight. In 1976, Muhammed was murdered in Nigeria's failed coup and succeeded by his military deputy, Obasanjo, who began his first stint as Nigeria's leader.

The author is a novelist, Big Brother Africa 2 Kenyan representative and founder of Jeff's Fitness Centre (@jeffbigbrother).