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The vanishing hug: Mothers losing role as children's primary teachers to phones
A child with a phone. Children’s habits are deteriorating; their patience and empathy are fading.
What you need to know:
- Technology has reshaped motherhood. Once a symbol of care and presence, the mother’s role is now quietly being replaced by mobile phones as children grow more attached to screens than to human touch, society must confront the emotional cost of digital convenience.
- In the age of constant connectivity, mobile phones have become both comfort and curse. They ease parenting pressures but steal irreplaceable moments of bonding between mothers and children, eroding the emotional foundation of love and learning.
The emergence of new technology and social media has significantly influenced the unique pace of change in human life, impacting our ways of living, thinking, and behaving. Humanity has discovered scientific resources to enhance life, but these resources are now becoming chains that bind us.
A mother's love has often been characterised as profoundly deep because of biological factors, long-term caregiving, early emotional connections, and societal expectations. Mothers often took on roles—nurturer, teacher, protector, identity mirror—throughout childhood and adolescence, crafting layered memories and emotional anchors.
Unfortunately, mobile is among those scientific resources. Mobile has transformed the essence of human existence. Mobile devices are increasingly turning into an obligation rather than a requirement for individuals. It has transformed the meanings of human connections. One of those relationships is the one between mother and child.
For centuries, it has been held that a child's first teacher is his mother. She expresses her unwavering love and affection for her child. The affection bestowed upon the child in the embrace of the mother, the nurturing she provides, and her warmth and tenderness equip him for the journey ahead. She loves her child not only from the heart but also from the spirit, and deep within her soul, she is dedicated to raising her child to be better than herself.
A mother’s love and care differ from other kinds of love because of a unique blend of biology, neurodevelopmental timing, social role, and ongoing caregiving responsibilities. The interplay of these factors results in a unique emotional landscape and behavioural tendencies that often emphasise the child's survival, growth, and autonomy over extended periods.
The mother instructs him on how to meet his daily needs in his native language. A common saying suggests that only a mother can grasp the secrets of her child; however, in today's world, the primary teacher for a child is often the mobile phone, rather than the mother.
In the past, the mother would lovingly embrace the crying child to soothe him. She sought to understand the cause of his tears and dedicated as much time as she could to be with him. She once prioritised the child's happiness above her own, but now the pace of change is swift. The mobile phone has now assumed the role of the mother. Nowadays, children often spend more time with their mobile phones than with their mothers.
The trend of utilising mobile phones to soothe a crying child, to binge-watch series on television, to manage household chores, to shop, to appease a child's stubbornness, and to obtain personal respite is on the rise. Children today are less likely to cry for milk and more inclined to cry for a mobile phone.
Children's reliance on mobile phones is intensifying in families where women hold jobs. The replacement of a mother by mobile devices is having a detrimental impact on children. They are distancing themselves from the essential love of their mother. They are missing out on essential knowledge that they need to acquire. They are growing increasingly irritable, stubborn, and devoid of affection.
Whenever a child experiences sadness, loneliness, or heartbreak, they seek solace in their mother's embrace, and everything feels more uplifting. All of the child's stress washes away, and the child is at peace in her arms. A child has only one mother, one opportunity to love her, to cherish her, and to create lasting memories with her. Never underestimate the value of that. However, the child of today longs for the mobile phone, rather than for the comforting embrace of a mother or nourishment.
Their habits are deteriorating. Their psychological needs are being impacted. Their overall development is becoming stagnant. A new dynamic in the mother-child relationship is beginning to unfold. Children are losing the warmth of a mother's affection from their childhood.
Mobile games, cartoons, and loud music are not just taking away their imagination, laughter, play, and the joy of childhood; they are also setting the stage for numerous challenges ahead. The portrayal of love every mother should carefully reflect on her responsibilities before providing a mobile phone to her child, ensuring she maintains her role as her child's first teacher.
Surjit Singh Flora is a freelance writer and journalist based in Brampton, Canada.
