We greet you in the name of the Lord, hoping you are feeling better now, after watching you on television getting emotional over the loss of our Chief of Defence Forces, Gen Francis Ogolla. We pray this letter finds you in a healing mood.
Your Excellency, our concern arises from the public service announcement you made last week about the existence of some individuals in government, spilling over past 2,000 in number, whom you claimed have falsified their academic certificates to gain entry into the civil service through the back door, and whom you now want to send home.
Instead of walking from one government office to another with a new broom sweeping fake certificates, it is in the view of Kenyan hustlers that these individuals should instead be singled out for presidential awards during the next public holiday; for breaking the Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest time it has taken anyone to go to school and graduate without announcing on social media for the rest of Kenyans to feel jealous.
In the glittering age of social media fantasy where every miniscule individual achievement – as little as applying TikTok filters on a left dimple – is documented for those without a smooth face to admire what the Lord has done to His chosen ones, it is important that civil servants in Kenya who have shown maturity in falsifying academic documents without announcing to anyone should be declared a national treasure and be given government protection.
Mr President, when you brought down the Bible at the Kasarani Stadium more than one and-a-half years ago, you promised the country that you will deal with all cartels who have been giving Kenyans sleepless nights on the streets, in government boardrooms, and on social media. It might have taken you a considerable amount of time negotiating this sensitive blackspot without limping out of it, but finally there is one achievement your government can receive praises for.
While it is our collective excitement that you have finally landed on government cartels who have been splashing their opulence on social media without genuine academic certificates to back them up, we are equally concerned about the potential consequences this small cleanup might do to the mental health of those affected as it will lead to the shutdown of their social media pages fearing arrest and prosecution, something that will render our young people rudderless, as they will have nowhere to run to for inspiration.
Therefore, it is in our nation’s interest to protect the few remaining role models to our young people who have demonstrated commitment in proving the value of working smart instead of working hard.
Your Excellency, while many Kenyans might argue that printing an academic certificate is not something anyone should consider an achievement, the professional view of many hustlers who sleep hungry every day is totally different. The process of forging academic transcripts, getting the accurate luminous seals right, replicating the original signatures of the academic deans, and the confidence required to present it for vetting and approval, is not for everyone.
Many interviewees have trembled – some have gone mad – while answering to the authenticity of their academic certificates before rigorous vetting panels. It is in the interest of the nation that we protect those who successfully breezed through the grilling and emerged without breaking a sweat, as they are the only ones who can successfully run this country on vibes and inshallah.
Mr President, as you may well be aware, it takes copious amounts of personal confidence for anyone to lie through their teeth, in front of a Godly audience, knowing fully well the Biblical consequences of gaining a government position by invoking the name of God in vain. The mental strength needed to retrain oneself from posting their filtered academic certificates on social media, therefore, should be emulated by all Kenyans who are struggling with mental health and are looking for role models in government.
The Bible says, in the Book of 1 Samuel 16, that when the Lord sent Samuel to the House of Jesse to anoint one his sons to be the next king of Israel, He told him in Verse 7, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Mr President, it is not the hustlers of Kenya who instructed Samuel not to look at the things people often look at while judging who is fit to serve in the government of the Lord – it is God who did.
For a long time, Mr President, you have gone on record praising God for being your steadfast shepherd helping you make tough decisions whenever you want to lead Kenya to greener pastures like Singapore. At this time, more than any other time in your life, the Lord is speaking to you, in the Book of 1 Samuel, that do not judge government officers by the academic certificates they have falsified as it is not a requirement for those seeking to enter the Kingdom of God which you swore to take all of us.
Your Excellency, it brings us immense joy to remind you that a comprehensive literacy test before joining the civil service is only a basic requirement by governments which are led by those who put their faith in science. As for us hustlers in Kenya, like the rest of our other counterparts in Africa, we are led by a God fearing government who put God in every affair of the state as we prepare for the second coming of Jesus, knowing well that we will not need academic certificates to qualify for the mansions Jesus went to build for us in heaven.
