Women’s health myths that refuse to die, and the facts
If your periods are painful enough to stop you from functioning normally, don’t accept that as normal. Pain can be linked to conditions like endometriosis or fibroids and deserves proper diagnosis.
What you need to know:
- The goal is simply to know your own body well enough to notice when something has changed, and not let social media algorithms talk you out of getting it checked.
Every week, I get a batch of questions from women who have been quietly worrying about something they read online. Somewhere between the wellness influencers and the group chat forwards, a lot of confident-sounding nonsense has taken root. So, let’s clear some of them up, one question at a time.
Is douching (cleaning inside the vagina) really bad for you?
Yes. Your vagina doesn’t need to be washed on the inside. It has its own ecosystem and naturally maintains an acidic environment. Douching with water, vinegar, garlic, baking soda or perfumed products disrupts that environment and causes problems like bacterial vaginosis and irritation. The vulva can be washed gently with water and, if you like, a mild unscented soap. The inside? Leave it alone. And a healthy vagina doesn’t need to smell like perfume. If there is a new strong or fishy smell, unusual discharge, itching or pain, find out what’s causing it.
Why does period blood sometimes change from bright red to dark, black or brown?
This is normal. Fresh menstrual blood is bright or dark red; blood that takes longer to leave the uterus and vagina has more time to oxidise and turns darker, brown or almost black. Pink occurs when blood mixes with cervical mucus or discharge. The colour isn’t important. What matters is any change from your normal pattern, including very heavy bleeding, bleeding between periods, after sex, after menopause, foul-smelling discharge, or severe pain.
Is hormone balancing, the way it’s promoted on social media, actually a thing?
Hormones have become the explanation for everything: tiredness, acne, bloating, sleeplessness, weight gain. They do fluctuate across the menstrual cycle and life stages, but many symptoms have more specific causes: poor sleep, stress, anaemia, thyroid disease, perimenopause, medication effects, pregnancy, or an undiagnosed medical problem. Randomly bought “hormone balancing” supplements are rarely the answer. Sometimes the more effective intervention is better sleep, balanced nutrition, regular movement, stress management, or addressing metabolic health and diagnosing the actual problem. You cannot supplement your way out of every symptom.
Why do I leak urine when I run, jump or exercise?
This is called stress urinary incontinence. Coughing, sneezing, laughing, jumping or running increase abdominal pressure, and if the pelvic floor and urethral support system can’t manage that pressure, urine leaks.
But pelvic floor problems aren’t always caused by weakness; some women have pelvic floor muscles that are overactive or too tight. In those cases, doing hundreds of Kegels can make things worse. A pelvic floor physiotherapist assesses strength, relaxation, coordination, breathing, muscle tone and bladder habits to find the right approach. Leakage is common, but it doesn’t mean you have to live with it.
Can an orgasm help period cramps?
Yes. During orgasm, there are rhythmic contractions of the pelvic and uterine muscles followed by relaxation, and sexual activity is associated with the release of neurochemicals involved in pleasure and pain modulation, so it eases cramps temporarily. But it’s not a medical treatment for period pain. If your periods are painful enough to stop you from functioning normally, don’t accept that as normal. Pain can be linked to conditions like endometriosis or fibroids and deserves proper diagnosis.
Why is everyone talking about freezing eggs?
Social media makes it sound as if every woman needs to freeze her eggs at 25. Women are born with a finite number of eggs, and both number and quality decline with age. This decline is more noticeable through the 30s, especially later in that decade. Egg freezing allows some eggs to be collected and stored, but it doesn’t guarantee a future baby. The number of eggs retrieved, age at freezing, egg quality, survival after thawing, fertilisation and embryo development all matter. Egg freezing is a fertility-preservation option, not a fertility insurance policy.
Why does perimenopause feel like puberty in reverse?
Because both involve major hormonal transitions. Puberty switches reproductive hormones on, while perimenopause sees ovarian hormone production become increasingly unpredictable before eventually shutting down. Oestrogen doesn’t fall smoothly; it fluctuates. One month may feel completely normal, the next you’re dealing with hot flushes, poor sleep, brain fog, irritability, palpitations, heavy or irregular periods, lower libido or fatigue. Then the following month you feel like yourself again. This unpredictability is what makes perimenopause frustrating, and because symptoms can start while periods are still happening, many women don’t realise the transition at all.
Do underwire bras cause breast cancer?
No. It’s a myth that has been repeated so often. An uncomfortable bra can cause pressure, irritation or chafing, but discomfort is not cancer. What matters more for breast health are age, family history and genetic risk, alcohol consumption, body weight, physical activity, reproductive factors, certain hormonal exposures, and appropriate breast screening and evaluation of any symptoms.
Why can one bad night of sleep make everything feel worse?
Because sleep influences concentration, memory, mood, appetite and food choices, energy, glucose regulation and cardiovascular health. Sleep can be disrupted during pregnancy, postpartum and perimenopause, and once it’s poor, everything else becomes harder. Sleep doesn’t explain every hormonal or menstrual problem, but it shapes how we experience them. Sometimes the best intervention is just getting a woman the sleep she needs.
Why does bone loss accelerate around menopause?
Oestrogen plays an important role in maintaining bone; as ovarian oestrogen production declines around menopause, bone loss speeds up. This is why menopause is the right time to start taking bone health seriously through adequate calcium and vitamin D, weight-bearing and resistance exercise, avoiding smoking, limiting alcohol, maintaining healthy body composition, assessing fracture risk, reducing fall risk, good vision and a well-organised home.
What about postpartum rage?
Most people know about baby blues, but some women experience something else: they may feel extremely short-tempered, easily overwhelmed and guilty afterwards. This can occur alongside postpartum depression, anxiety or other perinatal mental-health conditions, and it’s rarely “just hormones.” Hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, pain, breastfeeding demands, relationship stress, loss of independence and the cognitive load of caring for a newborn all contribute. If anger feels uncontrollable, or is accompanied by severe anxiety, hopelessness, thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby, hallucinations or confusion, urgent medical assessment is needed. Asking for help doesn’t make you a bad mother.
Is “mummy brain” real, or just an excuse?
It’s real. Brain-imaging studies show changes in social cognition and emotional processing during pregnancy, changes thought to help the brain adapt to caring for a baby. Women may notice forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, or trouble finding the right word. While evidence on memory and attention changes is mixed, the biggest culprit is usually sleep deprivation: newborn feeds, interrupted sleep, recovery, work and the constant mental load of caring for another person can leave the mind feeling scrambled. So mummy brain is a combination of brain adaptation, hormonal change, exhaustion and cognitive overload. If memory problems are severe, persistent, or interfere with daily life, they deserve assessment.
The message running through all of this is the same: your body is not broken, and it does not need fixing by whatever is trending this week.
What it does deserve is accurate information, and the confidence to ask a real clinician a real question when something feels off. Not everything unusual is dangerous. Not everything normal needs to be fixed. The goal is simply to know your own body well enough to notice when something has changed, and not let social media algorithms talk you out of getting it checked.
Dr Okemo is a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist at Aga Khan University Hospital, Nairobi
