Former TV journalist Kimani Mbugua.
Kimani Mbugua’s father has revealed details of his son’s suicide note as he blames friends for substance abuse relapses. Dedan Kimathi said his son took his own life in the early hours of Tuesday, October 14, while at a Mombasa rehabilitation ward he shared with other patients.
“It is true that our son, our firstborn, our giant, has rested. We are heartbroken as a family. He was our only son and such a brilliant mind,” he told Nation.
He says investigations have been completed, aided by CCTV footage from the rehabilitation centre, as well as a note he left behind. “He had written a note, not committing that he would take his life, but it contained a lot of goodbyes,” the heartbroken father told Nation. “When someone is in that state, they just follow what their mind tells them to do.”
Kimani, a former NTV and Citizen journalist, had appeared to be on the mend following months of struggling with mental illness and substance abuse. He had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings, including emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). People living with the condition may experience periods of intense energy and activity followed by phases of deep sadness or hopelessness.
“He had stabilised, but after he received his congratulations and support, his peers still made him go back to smoking and all that, and he relapsed,” Mr Kimathi says.
While at the rehabilitation centre, the father says his son was always cheerful in the phone conversations and showed no signs of giving up.
“I was his father, but we were great friends. We would speak and always encourage one another, and I would plead with him to never give up, stabilise, and come back home,” Mr Kimathi says. “Hon. Sonko [former Nairobi Governor] had even stretched out a helping hand and offered him support, including an opportunity to work with him, so I really don’t know how he arrived at the decision that he made. It has left us dumbfounded.”
In retrospect, however, his father feels that Kimani might have been tired.
“I know his mind was weak. He would tell me sometimes, ‘daddy, I am tired of this. But he expected to grow in his craft and passion. Maybe it’s because he was too far away, and we couldn’t see each other every day in the morning.”
Though in deep grief, Kimani’s family has made peace with his death and is now seeking support in helping give their son an honourable sendoff.
“We have allowed our hearts to be at peace, but one good thing I know is that Kimani left everything clean and perfect in his life. He had no issue with anyone (that I know of), and he leaves only a trail of good behind him. We have chosen to accept the will of God and are making preparations to rest him in peace. For those who worked with him, we ask that you show him solidarity even in death.”
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Additional reporting by Lilys Njeru
