A guide to sexually safe and joyful celebrations

The season is here again. It’s holiday time. Celebrations are expected: holiday trips, house parties, chama parties, office parties, name it. Simply put, it is time for party after party. My guess is as good as yours that there will be sex to top it all up, either accidental or otherwise.

In fact, I have heard people say that accidental or unplanned escapades are the most pleasurable! The result is that we expect an increase in unexpected consequences of sexual misadventures at this time, some of which may be catastrophic.

This reminds me of Andrew. I met him last December. For some reason, he forgot to use condoms after he took one too many. His year did not end well. He developed pain on passing urine and a urethral discharge a day after.

“Things went wrong after I got tipsy,” he says, “I had unsafe sex with a stranger, I am lucky I did not get HIV.”

Unplanned pregnancies are similarly common during the festive season. Health statistics show that botched abortions are likely to happen a few weeks after the festive season.

“I realised that schools were opening in a week and yet my periods had failed to come,” says Betty, a college student, “I ended up aborting in a backstreet clinic with complications which kept me out of school for a year.”

Betty had added to the grim statistics of unsafe abortions in Kenya. It is estimated that over half a million pregnancies are terminated in Kenya annually. Most of these abortions are done by unqualified people in unhygienic conditions. It is estimated that over 2000 Kenyan women die every year from unsafe abortions.

Over twenty thousand women face a similar fate as Betty, escaping death but getting admitted with injuries that range from organ injury to bleeding, acute infection, and even infertility.

In case you get an unwanted pregnancy during this festive season, do not rush to the quack, go to a reputable registered health facility. Trained health professionals will provide you with counseling and safe and legal ways of dealing with the pregnancy.

But better still, if you happen to have unplanned sex and you are not on a regular contraceptive, get the popular E-pill from the nearest clinic or pharmacy to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The pill can be used for up to five days following unsafe sex but it is more effective if used as soon as possible after the sexual encounter.

Remember, however, that the pill does not prevent HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases and so you are still not off the hook on these other consequences of unsafe sex.

You may of course take HIV medicines to prevent infection after unplanned sex. Also called post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), the use of antiviral drugs can be a saviour where the risk of infection is high.

PEP is especially recommended after rape. There has been a big debate on whether PEP should be made available after consensual sex. You may frown at why there should be a debate of such nature since this is a life-saving intervention but the fact is that some people have previously had unprotected sex and rushed to their doctors for PEP when they would have used better and more efficacious methods such as condoms to prevent getting infected. All the same, should you find yourself in a situation of risk do not shy away, visit your doctor for PEP for a stitch in time saves nine.   

On a more positive note, many people use the festive season to enhance family bonding. The year has been hectic with all the hullaballoo of economic challenges, Gen-Z riots, and political re-alignments.

Research shows that mental health has suffered a great deal as families deal with all these stresses. Many couples are emotionally drained as a result. You can use this festive season to be together as a family, communicate better, and attend to each other’s needs. Hopefully, this leads to the re-creation of emotional connection and more pleasurable and frequent sex, something that has greatly suffered during the difficult times.

If you have had frequent and unusual conflicts in the recent past, possibly fueled by life stresses, the festive season presents an opportunity to reconcile. Spare time to discuss your points of disagreement.

Some couples may also have grown distant and stopped being intimate; aim to spend time with each other and undertake sensual activities this festive season.

For some, sex fails and the marriage is sexless. Seek professional help for this; a sexual medicine doctor or sexologist may be what you need. Aim to start the New Year re-energised and strong with a will to survive it to the end.

Do not forget to make a resolution to have a better sexual life in the new year; and yes, be sure to get treated for any sexual problems and dysfunctions you may have faced in 2024. Enter the new year with a clean bill of health.