Nice Githinji wears many hats. She is an actress, director, producer, and entrepreneur, and now also carries the title of intimacy coordinator. This latest title is such a rare skill, especially in Eastern Africa, where there are only three people who have studied to do the job. In this new role, she facilitates the production of scenes involving nudity, simulated sex or hyper exposure in TV and performance art.
Globally, the career has risen to prominence over the past five years as the entertainment industry confronted a wave of abuses exposed by actors and actresses.
When the scenes start to get a bit steamy, that is where Nice comes in. The seasoned actress says intimacy direction started in 2006 and enables an actor to have a love interest, fall in love and then be “de-roled” and not be lying in bed at night thinking about a co-star.
“The intimacy coordinator is in the room to explain [to the actor or actress], ‘If something happens and you feel it is beyond the scene, give me a sign. We usually have safe words, and you have the right to call ‘cut’. The crew doesn’t have to know. I can make a quick excuse to the director, and we can go settle you down, then come back to do a scene again. It kills the feeling of embarrassment or humiliation,” says the 40-year-old actress who has a list of works – from film to TV to stage – that reads like a list of novels.
With 27 film and TV credits to her name, she just finished working as an intimacy coordinator on a film set down at the Coast that will have “a big South African actor” starring in it.
She has acted in many intimate scenes and knows too well the importance of intimacy coordinators. In 2022, for instance, “How To Have An Affair” marked their first physical theatre performance, after they co-founded their company Shorts From Africa with Nyokabi Macharia. The play was about a man who meets a woman at a bar and is blown away by her sensuality, which leads to the decline of his marriage. One of the scenes is a sped-up simulation of steamy sexual acts done with the silhouettes of Charles Ouda [the late actor] and Nice being projected on a bedsheet that covers the stage.
“I’m one of those actors who are confident and comfortable with their bodies. People have never hesitated to offer me those roles,” Nice told Nation Lifestyle , saying earlier in her career she even appeared on stage where she was dressed only from the waist down, showing her back to the audience while cupping her bust in her hands.
Last year, she started thinking about her legacy once she “exits stage left.” The thought of going to sets at 6 am in her 60s did not sit well with her. Nice says she is not “crazy about confronting my issues”, but she is very happy listening to people and helping them through; it makes her feel better.
Nice Githinji who is an actress, director, producer, and entrepreneur.
Photo credit: Pool
“In my old age [she just turned 40 in August], I’m living on the beach, and I go to my laptop to give therapy to this actor or musician because I could understand our lives and just how crazy it gets,” says Nice on her initial thought on how she could turn her empathy into a tool.
She found out about the creative art therapy master’s program in Canada, but it was too steep a price for her. She then came across Intimacy Directors and Coordinators (IDC), which is the leading and largest organisation training and certifying intimacy professionals worldwide. She subscribed to the mailing list, and the resources she received made her realise it was a very interesting niche.
Even though Nice had never found herself in a situation where she felt like she was forced to do anything, the material made her realise that she did have some more rights and she could say no to certain things.
“If the scene only requires me to show my backside, then I don’t have to be completely nude. I have been exposed without my wanting. There was a time we did a movie where I was wearing a bathing suit, and I became a screensaver in the cyber cafes. As I was reading, I realised some things happened to my body that my mind hadn’t picked up on,” says Nice, harping on the fact that actors are trained to say yes to directors’ instructions first and ask questions later.
An intimacy coordinator is supposed to be at the casting because they need to have separate conversations with the actors, because they ought to know that they will be in such scenes even before coming to audition. And it’s not right to ask actors to get into a swimsuit if they are not with someone they came with, and auditions should only be carried out in theatre spaces, not private areas. Intimacy coordinators are also on set on days where there are intimate scenes to be shot. They are also supposed to be on set during pre-production when there are read-throughs in order to know the themes of the story and the cast.
She says the intimacy coordinator role enables people to tell nice, sensual stories while respecting boundaries and avoiding trauma. This brought back memories. Even though she has always been comfortable, some things would happen that she found out were not within her power. In her 20s, she starred in a movie as a young woman with a sugar daddy, played by an older actor. She says the scene they were shooting was not supposed to have any physical touch, and it was just to portray the morning after the man had cheated on his wife.
“I’m wearing lingerie, and he’s only in his boxers. Mid scene, this guy lifted the duvet and said ….’ And at that time I just shrugged it off and never thought about it again.”
The intimacy coordinator has to see the script and then talk to the director of photography about how they want to shoot the scene. That way, dignity is maintained, the director gets what they want, the actor is comfortable, and the product looks “honest”.
The intimacy coordinator is also for the safekeeping of the crew. Intimacy could be a scene of sexual assault, a minor sitting on an adult’s lap, being in a bathtub, or a woman giving birth. If a crew member is not comfortable shooting a scene of a woman suffering a miscarriage, maybe due to their own experience or that of someone they know, due to reports that the intimacy coordinators compile before production, they can raise this due to trigger warnings issued, and they won’t be fired.
“All you have to say is, ‘I’m uncomfortable shooting this,’ and that should be enough. Because you have the right to be mentally safe. Or maybe it’s an intimate scene, and the boom swinger’s beliefs make them uncomfortable with seeing naked bodies,” says Nice, adding that it also protects filmmakers from being sued haphazardly due to their being reports.
Scenes with minors also require special handling. Scenes where an actor’s mother is being assaulted should be shot in the absence of the minor. “They should not be exposed to imagining their mother is dying,” says Nice.
Nice has been training with Safe Sets Intimacy Coordinators from South Africa. She did theories for six months before doing an eight-day physical course on choreography. This ensures that when simulating sexual acts, the actors’ parts don’t touch and how to cover each other so that what you did not consent to being exposed in nude scenes is hidden. She is currently in six more months of online sessions and mentorship, while also trying to clear 30 days on set as a lead intimacy coordinator.
Charles J Ouda, who plays Harun, and Nice Githinji, who plays Kendi, during a scene in the play "How To Have An Affair: A Cheater's Guide" that was directed by Nyokabi Macharia, a first in-person play produced under their Shorts From Africa theatre company on July 15, 2022.
Photo credit: THomas Rajula | Nation Media Group
“For me to get my SAG-AFTRA (Screen Actors Guild–American Federation of Television and Radio Artists – an American labour union for performers and media professionals) approvals and for me to be able to train other intimacy coordinators, I need 30 days and another 200 on set as an intimacy coordinator. I suppose I will completely graduate by next August. Depending on how hard I work, I’ll see how many days I’ll have worked on set then,” says the actress who can comfortably work on any set in Africa now.
She is in a cohort that only has nine participants: one from Japan, Australia, and Ireland, two South Africans, a Rwandese national, two Kenyans, and a Norwegian. When Kenya Film Commission (KFC) brought in intimacy coordinator Sara Blecher from South Africa in October last year, Nice was able to shadow her on the set of MTV Shuga Mashariki season one. She says it was easy to talk to Gen Zs because they’re generally curious. It didn’t feel like a pressure situation despite not being sure-footed about the job. She says Sara taught her well and very quickly on the job.
Then the idea to sponsor her to take up the course was formed. For €20,000 (Sh3,005,400), KFC, Multichoice Talent Factory and GIZ (German Agency for International Cooperation) joined hands to support Nice for showing great initiative.
“This school has trained people who do workshops when Netflix wants to talk to productions about intimacy coordination. They won’t take a show if you have some scenes and you haven’t hired intimacy coordinators.”
She says the recent film she was an intimacy coordinator on did intimidate her a bit. “South Africa already has intimacy coordinators, and this guy is a big star, and I thought, ‘Crap! I’d better do this well. Because he knows how this is done. I hope I don’t come off as a newbie.’ But working with Kenyans has been incredible. They’re so forthcoming; they’re very open to it and, honestly, people feel safer,” says Nice, adding that she even did intimacy coordination on the web series “Tuki”.
Nice, Michael Mwangi Jones and Rwanda’s Uwera Maranatha are currently working on policies, documentation and rates that are going to streamline their services depending on the economic state of East and Central Africa.
And Nice has already applied for another course where she hopes to get a scholarship or a job that helps pay for it. She wants to have a great knowledge of working with minors and people with disabilities. “What is intimate for a deaf or blind person? I’d like us to be in a space where we can tell stories that are all-rounded and all-inclusive. So that I can then train people in my country for a safe industry.”
