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The debate over paying children for chores often revolves around control and motivation.
Atieno Otieno, a 44-year-old mother of three, believes that a little money can go a long way in teaching children responsibility. For her, paying a child to complete chores is not about spoiling them but about motivation and helping them learn important life lessons early.
“I think it is fine to give them money because everybody needs motivation,” she says.
According to Atieno, the idea is not simply to reward chores but to help children understand the value of money and the effort it takes to earn it.
Atieno Otieno, 44, is a Chief Officer for Public Communication in Homa Bay County and a mother of three, says paying children for household chores is a simple way to motivate them while teaching responsibility.
Her 10-year-old daughter is currently learning this lesson. Every week, she earns Sh500 if she completes chores at home. The money is divided carefully. Sh200 is for saving, Sh200 is for spending as she wishes, and Sh100 goes into what the family calls a heart jar.
“She can use the money for church offerings or to help someone in need. She can also use it to buy a gift for a friend,” Atieno says.
Her daughter keeps clear records of her money in a notebook, just like a bank statement. She writes down the date she receives money and how she uses it.
“I offered to help her organise it,” Atieno recalls, “But she told me she already had a book where she writes everything.”
The system was not created overnight. Atieno says her eldest daughter, now in university, struggled with managing money while growing up. Watching that experience made her realise that financial discipline should start much earlier. Her younger daughter also had difficulty keeping her room tidy.
Even though the family has a nanny, she believes children should learn to take care of their own spaces. The chores tied to the allowance focus mainly on personal responsibility.
“They must keep their rooms tidy, organise their study desks, clean their bathroom, and arrange their belongings,” says Atieno.
Since introducing the allowance system during the December holidays last year, Atieno has noticed a remarkable change.
“I see a more responsible child,” she says proudly. “She does not need to be reminded what to do.”
The lessons are also influencing the rest of the siblings. The youngest child, who is four, is already learning by watching her sister, and is encouraged to put away her toys and keep her small space tidy. Even the older sister in university has begun reflecting on her own financial habits.
Atieno believes teaching children about money early prepares them for real life.
“Work always has value, and that value is usually compensated. When children understand how hard it is to earn money, they think twice before wasting it,” she says.
A different approach
Elizabeth Gicura, 37, is a nurse based in Nairobi and a mother of one. She believes paying her nine-year-old son for household chores is her way of teaching him responsibility, discipline and the value of money.
While Atieno uses money mainly as a way to encourage responsibility, Elizabeth Gicura uses it to teach financial planning.
Elizabeth, 37, began teaching her nine-year-old boy about money from a young age.
“I never want to raise a child who cannot do anything meaningful for himself,” she says.
The idea was inspired by her own childhood memories of savings programmes such as Jumbo Junior accounts that parents once opened for their children.
Curious whether similar options still existed, she asked several banks but found many no longer offered such programmes.
When her son was about four and a half years old, she started with small rewards. If he cleared his plate after eating and took it to the kitchen, he received simple treats such as a special meal he liked.
However, Elizabeth soon realised that food rewards were not teaching the financial lessons she wanted. After his fifth birthday, when he began receiving small cash gifts along with toys, she introduced the idea of saving.
At the time, Elizabeth herself was facing financial difficulties. Setting up a savings fund for her son also helped manage situations when he asked for something she could not afford.
She began by setting aside Sh2,000 for him every month in a small savings kitty. Later, with help from a finance manager, she opened a savings account in her son’s name.
“I even took him to the bank and introduced him to the manager,” she says.
Whenever they visit the bank, Elizabeth intentionally steps back.
“I sit in the corner and let him go to the counter himself,” she explains. “I want him to learn to be accountable for his own money.”
When her son turned seven, chores became directly linked to small payments.
“If you wash the toilet, make the bed, clean the corridor, throw out the garbage or clean your shoes after playing, you earn something,” she told him.
For Elizabeth, the money was not just a reward, but a way of teaching effort, consistency and responsibility.
Some months, her son earned up to Sh4,000 through chores. However, what surprised Elizabeth was that he rarely spent the money. “He became very protective of it,” she says.
When she asked him what he wanted to do with all the money, his answer caught her completely off guard. “He said he was saving for his first car,” Elizabeth recalls with a laugh.
“A car?” she asked. “Yes, I want to have enough money saved by the time I reach university so I can buy one.” She believes the savings system has taught the boy about being accountable. If he loses something from school, the replacement cost comes from his savings. “He feels the pinch,” she says. “He understands that mistakes have consequences.”
Her son’s weekly earnings vary depending on the effort he puts into his tasks. Sometimes he earns Sh500, other weeks it can reach Sh1,000 or more.
Still, Elizabeth knows the arrangement cannot last forever. By the time he is 13, she hopes chores will simply become part of his daily responsibilities without payment. Instead, she plans to introduce a monthly allowance system that he must manage carefully.
A psychologist’s take
Counselling psychologist Kenneth Kariuki says the debate over paying children for chores often revolves around control and motivation. Parents want to guide and discipline their children, he explains, but children naturally push back. When children seem rebellious, many parents feel frustrated and worry that others will think they are not good at disciplining their children.
He notes that parenting has become more complicated in modern times, with many competing ideas about how children should be raised.
“Some people believe children should be given more freedom, while others believe stronger discipline is necessary. This often leaves parents unsure about the right balance,” he says.
When parents pay children for chores, opinions differ sharply.
“Some psychologists would say it is bribing the child because responsibilities should be done without payment. But behaviourists argue it is motivation because children learn that effort leads to reward,” Kariuki explains.
In his view, rewards can be useful but must be used carefully. Age also matters.
“A small child might receive a few coins, while an older child might receive more. But it should never become the rule that every task is paid for.”
If that happens, children may begin asking how much they will be paid before doing any task.
“That is when the situation changes and the parent may lose the control they were trying to establish,” he says.
Kariuki adds that some responsibilities should never be linked to payment. These include personal care tasks such as bathing, doing homework, washing personal clothes and keeping personal spaces clean.
“Self-care is a responsibility to oneself,” he explains. “A child should not be paid to take care of themselves.”
Still, he acknowledges that small payments can help children learn financial responsibility. Psychology shows that rewards can work better when they are given occasionally and unexpectedly. Kariuki says that when children receive rewards only occasionally, they may become more motivated. “If rewards come randomly, children can become more motivated than when they are always paid,” he says, adding that when children receive money and are required to explain how they use it, they begin to understand saving, spending and budgeting.
However, parents should always supervise how the money is used to avoid unhealthy habits.
“Children should never feel entitled to the money,” he cautions.
He adds that motivation does not always have to involve money. Parents can also reward effort with extra playtime, family outings or other privileges.
“These methods can encourage responsibility without turning chores into a financial transaction,” Kariuki says.
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