When the glow of a screen becomes a child’s closest companion, what happens to their growth and development? How does it impact their curiosity, creativity and self-expression?
For many young ones, the first thing they do after school is not to greet a parent or grab a snack, but to toss their bags aside and sprint toward the nearest phone, tablet or TV. Their digital worlds offer endless colours, characters and sounds, but also raise questions on how these devices are shaping children’s speech, behaviour and social skills.
Emmaculate Wambui during an interview at Nation Centre on November 12, 2025.
Photo credit: Billy Ogada | Nation Media Group
Emmaculate Wambui, 31, has two children, an eight-year-old daughter and a two-and-a-half-year-old son. Between running an agribusiness and working as a project management consultant for several NGOs across Africa, she balances work and parenting with careful attention to her children’s use of gadgets.
Emmaculate has created a timetable so the children know when it is their turn to use gadgets, when to play outside and when to do homework. “I tell them, from this time to this time, you can use the TV or phone. Then you go play or do your homework. They know when to wait, and sometimes they eat faster because they know once they finish, they can use the device.”
Emmaculate sees both entertainment and learning as important motivators for allowing her children screen time. “The world is moving fast,” she says, “and children need both education and a social life.”
Her children sometimes show impatience when their screen time ends. Despite these moments of frustration, she has observed no lasting negative effects on their mood or behaviour. Her children remain playful and often prefer outdoor activities when friends are available.
Screen habits may trigger biological changes in childhood
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“My daughter is so excited when she does a TikTok. She wants everyone to know about it. Sometimes I show her a video or a movie about children from different backgrounds and it helps her learn empathy and how to respond to others,” she says.
Emmaculate monitors content carefully. Each child has a separate account on streaming services and she checks their viewing history regularly. “I talk to them about what they watch. Some things can be scary or uncomfortable, so I explain why they should not watch certain videos.”
Her son often talks about things he has seen online and tries to relate them to real-life experiences. “He asks questions and makes connections,” she says, noting that gadgets have helped develop curiosity and comprehension.
Grace Muchai during an interview on November 12, 2025 at Nation Centre, Nairobi.
Photo credit: Billy Ogada | Nation Media Group
Grace Ndanguiya Muchai is 31 years old, a mother of two girls and an entrepreneur who runs a boutique in town. In her home, mornings move with a familiar rhythm. The girls wake up, brush their teeth, take breakfast and as Grace explains, “after some time they watch cartoons.”
Screens have become part of the household routine, especially during school holidays. “They use them daily,” she says.
Her firstborn understands that she can only watch in the morning for two to three hours. After lunch, they go outside to play. Because of this, Grace feels that gadgets do not interfere with meals, chores or playtime. She admits that part of what motivates her to allow screen time is to create time for herself or the nanny.
Grace remembers a time before school when too much screen time affected her eldest daughter’s behaviour. “She would refuse to eat unless the cartoons were on. To make mealtime easier, I would give her the phone. It created an unhealthy dependency.”
Grace introduced screens to her firstborn daughter when she was about one and a half years old. By then, the little girl could sing along to “Baby Shark.”
Grace believes that screens contributed to early learning. “She was able to learn a lot of things, like the colours, the alphabet. Even talking,” she says.
However, a few months ago, her eldest daughter’s teacher warned that her concentration span had become too short. Grace says, “She told me that I must limit her screen time because she was not concentrating that much in class.”
That moment changed how Grace handled gadgets at home. She spoke to her daughter honestly. “I told her, if you watch a lot of cartoons, you will not be able to concentrate in class. And when you do exams, you are going to be number last. And when you are number last, you are going to be poor.”
Children watch television.
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Grace has taught her girls to share devices, especially when they are with other children. “They know sharing is caring,” she says. “They often watch together and this helps them interact with other children.”
As holidays stretch out, screen time increases again. “It is like the whole day,” Grace admits, though she says she does not feel guilty. For her, parenting with gadgets is a balance between convenience, learning, behaviour and the everyday realities of raising children while running a business.
Like father, like daughter
Cedric Maina 29, is raising his five-year-old daughter, Casey, in a home where digital gadgets are part of everyday life. He describes himself as a tech guy with a degree in Computer Science, and his daughter naturally grew curious about the gadgets around her. “Me and computers, we are one thing,” he said. “She always came asking, Dad, what are you doing? What is this? How do you open it? That is how she started learning.”
Cedric Maina during an interview at Nation Centre, Nairobi, on November 12, 2025.
Photo credit: Billy Ogada | Nation Media Group
Their days start simply with breakfast and small chores before Cedric begins guiding Casey through creating her digital educational content. He teaches her, she practices and then she jokingly calls him “my student” before they record.
Cedric stays home more while Casey’s mother spends long hours working outside. He tries to balance teaching her, playing with her and doing his own work. He worries too about her being an only child and lacking playmates.
To keep boredom away, Cedric fills the house with toys, learning charts and books. He knows too much screen time can affect a child’s concentration and mood, so he tries to make books and hands-on activities part of her day. Still, gadgets are always near and this means he must stay alert. He lets her watch YouTube Kids and limits the use of regular YouTube to moments when an adult is present. He hopes this will protect her from content that is not worthy of her view.
Casey often repeats things she heard online, surprising her parents with new phrases and ideas. Sometimes, her mood shifts quickly when she is denied screen time, but Cedric has learned that the frustration is short-lived. “She will be annoyed this minute. After two minutes, we are best friends.”
He believes the gadgets have helped her speak more confidently, though he has noticed small changes in her accent. “She was trying to emulate the American and the UK accent,” he said. He does not mind it as long as it does not cause any problems. What matters more to him is that she uses her devices responsibly and understands that learning comes before entertainment.
Books play a big role in their home, especially during the holidays. “Each and every day you ensure they are doing something constructive,” he said.
Like many Kenyan parents, Irene Mbugua, a mother of three from Nairobi, once believed the only way to raise disciplined children was to keep the screens away. But after countless arguments, hidden devices and cold silences over confiscated phones, she changed her approach.
“I realised banning did not make them wiser. It just made screens feel like forbidden fruit. Now, instead of fighting it, we manage it together.”
This shift from fear to balance is becoming increasingly necessary as more families struggle with the challenges of raising children in a digital-first world. Smartphones, PlayStations, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Netflix, today’s children are growing up in a world where the line between online and offline life is blurring fast.
And while these tools can be fun, educational and even empowering, they also bring new parenting headaches: screen addiction, isolation, cyberbullying, exposure to inappropriate content and emotional withdrawal.
Dr Akinyi Owino, a Nairobi-based child psychologist and parenting coach, says the first step in addressing this challenge is to shift the mindset.
“We must accept that the digital world is not going away. The goal is not to eliminate screens but to raise children who can navigate them with wisdom. That starts with connection, not control.”
The old method of strictly banning gadgets worked in the past when access was limited. But today, even schoolwork often requires online access. Class groups are hosted on WhatsApp. Homework is researched on Google. Children learn coding, attend virtual classes and connect with friends on group chats and video calls.
Still, this new digital reality brings deep unease for many parents. We have seen children glued to screens at family gatherings, teens ignoring elders as they scroll and toddlers throwing tantrums when the phone is taken away. It is tempting to blame the technology, but the real issue is how we engage with it as families.
For James Kirui, a father of two in Nakuru, it took a gaming crisis to re-evaluate his approach.
“My 11-year-old son would get violent when I told him to switch off the PlayStation. It became a war zone every evening,” he says.
But instead of doubling down on punishment, he decided to try something radical. He played the game with his son.
“It was hard. I did not understand the appeal. But while we played, he started talking. About school, his fears and dreams. I realised I had spent so much time policing him, I had forgotten to just connect,” he says.
Too much TV exposure at a tender age can lead to virtual autism in children.
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According to the Communications Authority of Kenya, smartphone ownership among teens continues to rise, particularly in urban areas.
Children as young as 10 are now digital natives, more fluent in touchscreen navigation than in reading an atlas. Even in rural areas, where internet access may be slower, the presence of phones and digital media is growing.
Still, many Kenyan homes operate under a generational tech divide. Parents, raised in an era of physical chores, outdoor games and shared storytelling, often view screen time as frivolous or harmful. Meanwhile, children see it as normal life. The result is a disconnect that breeds misunderstanding.
Stacey Njeri 15, from Nakuru says her father dismisses TikTok as wasted time. Yet on her profile, she follows educational pages about art tutorials and inspiring young creators. “If he just asked me what I watch, he would be surprised,” she says.
Dr Owino warns that parents should look out for emotional changes such as increased irritability, withdrawal from family, poor sleep or secrecy around devices.
“We must remember that behind every screen, there is a child with real needs. We must address those, not just the gadget.”
Rather than fight a losing battle, some parents are now introducing gentle but firm digital routines. Instead of banning screens entirely, they create shared agreements about when and where devices are used.
Phones are charged outside the bedroom. Wi-Fi is turned off at a certain hour. Families eat dinner without screens. Sundays are dedicated to offline bonding, including bike rides, baking, board games and storytelling.
For Irene, this approach has transformed her home. “On Sundays, we leave our phones in a drawer. We cook together, do puzzles and even read aloud. At first, the kids complained. Now, they remind me if I forget.”
However, as children get older and demand more privacy, the balancing act becomes trickier. Irene admits that trusting her teenage daughter online was not easy.
“I worried about everything. Predators, sexting, fake friends. But instead of monitoring secretly, I chose open dialogue. I told her, I trust you, but we talk about everything. If you see something scary or confusing, come to me first.”
That trust has paid off. When her daughter once received a disturbing message from a stranger on social media, she told her mother immediately. Together, they blocked the account and discussed how to stay safe online.
She learned that no app or parental control tool can replace a strong parent-child relationship. Dr Owino concurs.
“If we raise children who are emotionally secure, digitally literate and open to honest conversations, they will learn to make wise choices even when we are not watching.”
